e
meant to, but believe you me, it was far from it as Ma went into our
all-paid-for gold furnished parlour and commenced playing on the pianola
which Jim had give me for a souvenir before he sailed, and Ma, being
sort of heavy and strong, after twenty-five years with a circus, she has
a fierce touch.

Well, anyways, after she had got "Soft and Low" going strong with the
loud pedal and no expression, I opened the first envelope. It was my
copy of my new contract with Goldringer all signed and everything and
calling for only twenty minutes of my first class A-1 parlour dancing
act in his new musical show at the Springtime Garden entitled "Go To It"
and which let all persons know that the party of the first part
hereinafter called the manager was willing and able to pay Miss Marie La
Tour, party of the second ditto, one thousand dollars a week. Which
certainly was _some_ party to look foreward to and scarcely any work to
speak of, a refined act like mine not calling for over three handsprings
and some new steps, which is second nature to me and I generally make up
a few every night for my own amusement same as some of those fellows
which play the piano by hand--do you get me?

Well, anyways, when I had looked the contract over good and seen it
really was, as I had before realized in the office, more than
satisfactory, I salted it away in my toy safe which was nicely built
into the mantel-piece for the greater convenience of burglars, and then
I remembered the other envelope. All unsuspecting as a table d'hote
guest, I opened the envelope, and then almost dropped dead.

It was from President Wilson!

Believe you me, I leaned up against the art-gray wall paper and prepared
to faint after I had read the news. But instead of commencing, "I regret
to inform you of the death in battle," or something like that, it
started:

"THE WHITE HOUSE,
"Washington, D. C.

"I earnestly appeal to every man, woman and child to pledge
themselves to save constantly and to buy as regularly as possible
the securities of the Government; and to do this as far as possible
through membership in War Savings Societies.

"The man who buys War Savings Stamps transfers his purchasing power
to the United States Government.

"May there be none unenlisted in the great volunteer army of
production and saving here at home.

"WOODROW WILSON."

Woodrow Wilson! Signed--and addressed to _me!_ Of