German only."

Jim looked mad as a hatter; but instead of taking it out on this Von
Hoffman, as he had ought to have, he turned on that poor dumb beast.

"Well," says Jim to the alligator, "here's where you learn some
patriotism."

And he leaned 'way across the table until his face was only an inch or
two away from the alligator's. Jim looked that animal straight in the
eye and spoke very severe.

"To hell with Germany!" says Jim.

And with that the alligator snapped--snapped right onto the end of Jim's
nose! Oh, my Gawd, but I yelled! So did Jim--believe you me! And then we
all tried to get that fiend of a pro-German alligator off Jim's face.
When they succeeded in making him let go you had ought to of seen Jim's
nose! It had four holes in it and was bleeding something fierce.

Oh, may I never live to see such a sight again, let alone having to go
through what followed! For once I forgot my refinement completely, and I
remember yelling at Jim to kill that German. For if he didn't sick his
alligator onto Jim, who did? And there he stood laughing at Jim for all
he was worth; and Jim never offered to fight him!

Believe you me, all my sympathy for Jim melted right away when I seen he
wasn't doing nothing but stand there holding on to his nose and moaning.

"I know alligator bites is deadly poison!" He kept saying it over and
over again, while Von Hoffman was laughing himself sick.

"I hope it is poison!" he says. "I hope it is, you jackanapes of an
American dancer!"

At this I walked right up to that Von Hoffman bird.

"I'll get you for this!" I says. "Somehow I know you're a wrong one, and
_I'll_ get you, even if Jim don't want to! I'd enlist to-morrow if I was
a man and get your old Kaiser as well!"

Then, the next thing I knew, me and Jim was in the limousine, on the way
to the hospital; and Jim was still moaning over being poisoned by the
alligator and getting blood all over the place, and the car just
relined and everything! I didn't say a word just then, because, of
course, you must stick to a pal in time of immediate trouble--do you get
me? But I was boiling mad inside, though worried a little about the
poison. Still, Jim's not hitting that bird, Von Hoffman, was worse to me
than death itself.

At the hospital the chauffeur and me got Jim inside somehow and to a
desk in the hall. There was a snappy-looking nurse sitting there with a
book, and our coming in at that hour no more worried her than a fly