d so friendly it got
me worried right away. Any one which has seen Ruby in her red, white and
blue tights will at once realize what I mean, though nothing but the
tights was ever proved against her. What on earth she wanted with our
committee was very suspicious because why would she ever of taken a
expensive and difficult present like a baby alligator from a German
which she once done, if not pro, her own self?

But time for starting something had sure come, if we was ever to get any
lunch, so I got them all seated and commenced--a little weak in the
knees which it was a good thing I was seated, but strong in the voice,
so as to start the moral right--do you get me?

"Ladies of the Theatrical Ladies W.S.S. Committee," I began, being
determined not to waste no time on formalities, which it has always
seemed to me that on such occasions a lot of gas is used up in them
which would have run the machine quite a ways if applied properly. We
all knew we was the Theatrical Ladies W.S.S. Committee and I was the
chairman, so why waste words making me it? "Ladies," I says, "I have a
letter from President Wilson asking me to get to work, and so have
formed a committee to sell twenty-five thousand dollars worth of War
Savings Stamps on the first of the month. I sat right down and wrote him
I would do it, and here we are. Of course this being the twenty-eighth
of the month the notice is short. Probably he didn't expect us really to
get to work until next month, but personally, myself, I think we should
surprise him by getting the money by Saturday night, which Saturday
night is the first. Now, you Committee Ladies is here to discuss how
will we do it. I would be glad to hear ideas, suggestions and etc."

Well, nobody said anything for a few minutes only Ruby put a little
powder on her nose and looked at it critical in her vanity case mirror,
which well she might for Gawd knows she had powder enough on her
already. Then Madame Broun, the Lady Baritone, cleared her throat.

"I would be glad to give a recital," she said, swelling up her neatly
upholstered black satin bosom, "and turn over the money it brings in. I
presume the Government would hire the theatre for me."

"Well," I says, "that is a real nice suggestion only not quite
practical. You see it wouldn't be right to ask the Government to pay for
the theater in case it was a wet Monday and only a few came in out of
the rain. Any more ideas?"

The blond Dahlia sister spoke u