appened we was waiting for the aeroplane I was to go up in to arrive
at the studio, and so for once having my morning for myself, I thought I
would just dash off my income tax return, and be done with it.

But it seems that this is one of the things which is easier said than
done, the same as signing the peace-treaty, and believe you me, the last
ain't got a thing on the former and I don't know did Pres. Wilson make
out his own income tax return or not. But if he did and the collector of
Internal Revenue left him get by with it as he must of or why would the
Pres. be in Paris, which is out of the country, well anyways, if the
Pres. did it alone, believe you me, he will get away with the treaty all
right, and probably even write in this here Leg of Nations under table
13, page 1, of return and instructions page 2 under K (b) without having
to ask anybody how to do it, he having undoubtedly shown the power to
think.

Well anyways, I had taken all the poker-chips, silk-sale samples, old
theatre programs and etc., out of my desk, found my fountain pen and a
bottle of ink, and was turning that cute little literacy test around and
over to see where would I commence and had got no further than the
realization that most of my brains is in my feet instead of behind my
face, when Ma comes in and commences worrying me because she could not
cook nor yet crochet like the lillies of the field, or whatever that
well-known idle flower was. I tried to listen at least as politely as
is ever required of a daughter to her mother, but when I was trying to
figure out my answer to question No. 5 and getting real mad over its
personalness, I couldn't stand to hear her complain over not being able
to crochet them terrible mats she makes which are not fit for anything
except Xmas presents, anyways.

"The trouble with you, Ma," I snapped at last, "is that you aught to get
a live-wire outside interest. You're getting out of date. Ladies don't
crochet no more and even knitting has been dished by the armistice. You
never read a newspaper or a book. You should go in for something snappy
and up to the moment like literature or jobs for soldiers, or business,
or something."

This got Ma's goat right off, like I hoped it would.

"Oh, so I'm on the shelf, am I?" she says, "well, leave me tell you Mary
Gilligan, if it wasn't for us back numbers you new numbers wouldn't even
_be_ here, don't forget that! And after having been the first American
lady t