tte' in due course. '2nd
Lieut. Blake resigns his mess presidency owing to the enormous price of
sardines per thousand and the amount of lime juice consumed by casual
visitors.' I'll tell you what--I'll run the mess on four francs, if
you'll bar guests."

"Rot, it's nothing to do with guests. We never have any."

"Never have any!" said Blake indignantly. "Then I shall keep a visitors'
book just to show you."

So that was how the D Company Visitors' Book was inaugurated. I had the
honour of opening it. I happened to be mending a telephone line in this
particular trench one thirsty day, and there was the dug-out, and--well,
there was I. I dropped in.

"Hallo," said Blake, "have a drink."

I had a lime juice. Then I had another. And then, very reluctantly, I got
up to go. Army Form Book 136 was handed to me.

"The visitors' book," said Blake. "You can just write your name in it, or
you can be funny, whichever you like."

"What do they usually do?" I asked.

"Well, you're the first, so you'll set the tone. For God's sake don't be
too funny."

It was an alarming responsibility. However, as it happened, I had
something which I wanted to say.

"Thursday, 12.45 p.m.," I wrote. "Pleasantly entertained as usual by D
Company. Refused a pressing invitation to stay to lunch, although
it was a hot day and I had a long walk back to my own mess."

I handed the book back to Blake. He read it; and with one foot on the
bottom step of the dugout I waited anxiously.

"Oh, I say, do stay to lunch," he said.

I gave a start of surprise.

"Oh, thanks very much," I said, and I took my foot off the step. "It
would be rather--I think, perhaps--well, thanks very much."

Once begun, the book filled up rapidly. Subalterns from other companies
used to call round for the purpose of being funny; I suppose that
unconsciously I had been too humorous--anyway, the tone had been set. The
bombing officer, I remember, vowed that Mrs. Blake's hospitality was so
charming that he would bring his wife and family next time. A gunner
officer broke into verse--a painful business. One way and another it was
not long before the last page was reached.

"We must get the General for the last page," said Blake.

"Don't be an ass," said Rogers.

"Whatever's the matter? Don't you think he'd do it?"

"You wouldn't have the cheek to ask him."

"Good lord, you don't stop being a human being, because you command a
brigade. Why on earth shouldn't I ask