stand in my way," he splutters. And the great dust-up
begins....

Brave little Bingo! I don't wonder that so warlike a race as the Japanese
has called a province after him.

A WARM HALF-HOUR

Whatever the papers say, it was the hottest afternoon of the year. At
six-thirty I had just finished dressing after my third cold bath since
lunch, when Celia tapped on the door.

"I want you to do something for me," she said. "It's a shame to ask you
on a day like this."

"It _is_ rather a shame," I agreed, "but I can always refuse."

"Oh, but you mustn't. We haven't got any ice, and the Thompsons are
coming to dinner. Do you think you could go and buy threepennyworth?
Jane's busy, and I'm busy, and--"

"And I'm busy," I said, opening and shutting a drawer with great
rapidity.

"Just threepennyworth," she pleaded. "Nice cool ice. Think of sliding
home on it."

Well, of course it had to be done. I took my hat and staggered out. On an
ordinary cool day it is about half a mile to the fishmonger; to-day
it was about two miles and a quarter. I arrived exhausted, and with only
just strength enough to kneel down and press my forehead against the
large block of ice in the middle of the shop, round which the lobsters
nestled.

"Here, you mustn't do that," said the fishmonger, waving me away.

I got up, slightly refreshed.

"I want," I said, "some--" and then a thought occurred to me.

After all, _did_ fishmongers sell ice? Probably the large block in front
of me was just a trade sign like the coloured bottles at the chemist's.
Suppose I said to a fellow of the Pharmaceutical Society, "I want some of
that green stuff in the window," he would only laugh. The tactful thing
to do would be to buy a pint or two of laudanum first, and _then_, having
established pleasant relations, ask him as a friend to lend me his green
bottle for a bit.

So I said to the fishmonger, "I want some--some nice lobsters."

"How many would you like?"

"One," I said.

We selected a nice one between us, and he wrapped a piece of "Daily Mail"
round it, leaving only the whiskers visible, and gave it to me. The
ice being now broken--I mean the ice being now--well, you see what I
mean--I was now in a position to ask for some of his ice.

"I wonder if you could let me have a little piece of your ice," I
ventured.

"How much ice do you want?" he said promptly.

"Sixpennyworth," I said, feeling suddenly that Celia's threepennyworth
sounded r