uses inconvenience to the tenants
beneath you?

"Yours faithfully, Jno. McAndrew."

You can understand how I felt about this. For months I had been suffering
Johnny in silence; yet, at the first little drop of water from above,
Johnny's father must break out into violent abuse of me. A fine reward!
Well, Johnny's future could look after itself now; anyhow, he was doomed
with a selfish father like that.

"Dear Sir," I answered defiantly, "Now that we are writing to each other
I wish to call your attention to the fact that for many months past there
has been a constant flow of one-fingered music from your little boy,
which penetrates through the floor of my library and makes all work
impossible. May I beg you, therefore, to see that your child is taught a
new tune immediately, seeing that the National Anthem has lost its first
freshness for the tenants above him?"

His reply to this came to-day.

"Dear Sir,--I have no child.

"Yours faithfully, Jno. McAndrew."

I was so staggered that I could only think of one adequate retort.

"DEAR SIR," I wrote,--"I never have a bath."

* * * * *

So that's the end of Johnny, my boy prodigy, for whom I have suffered so
long. It is not Johnny but Jno. who struggles with the National Anthem.
He will give up music now, for he knows I have the bulge on him; I can
flood his bathroom whenever I like. Probably he will learn something
quieter--like painting. Anyway, Dr. John Bull's masterpiece will rise no
more through the ceiling of the flat below.

On referring to my encyclopedia, I see that, according to some
authorities, "God Save the King" is "wrongly attributed" to Dr. Bull.
Well, I wrongly attributed it to Johnny. It is easy to make these
mistakes.

A HANGING GARDEN IN BABYLON

"Are you taking me to the Flower Show this afternoon?" asked Celia at
breakfast.

"No," I said thoughtfully; "no."

"Well, that's that. What other breakfast conversation have I? Have you
been to any theatres lately?"

"Do you really want to go to the Flower Show?" I asked. "Because I don't
believe I could bear it."

"I've saved up two shillings."

"It isn't that--not only that. But there'll be thousands of people there,
all with gardens of their own, all pointing to things and saying,
'We've got one of those in the east bed,' or 'Wouldn't that look nice in
the south orchid house?' and you and I will be quite, quite out
of it." I sighed, and helped myse