ffy. "Of course," I said, "for
those who _like_ orchids--" and led the way back to the geraniums
again. It was an interesting afternoon.

And to our great joy the window-box was in position when we got home
again.

"Now!" I said dramatically, and I unwrapped my purchase and placed it in
the middle of our new-made garden.

"Whatever--"

"A slug-trap," I explained proudly.

"But how could slugs get up here?" asked Celia in surprise.

"How do slugs get anywhere? They climb up the walls, or they come up in
the lift, or they get blown about by the wind--I don't know. They
can fly up if they like; but, however it be, when they do come, I mean to
be ready for them."

Still, though our slug-trap will no doubt come in usefully, it is not
what we really want. What we gardeners really want is rain.

SISTERLY ASSISTANCE

I was talking to a very stupid man the other day. He was the stupidest
man I have come across for many years. It is a hard thing to say of any
man, but he appeared to me to be entirely lacking in intellect.

It was Celia who introduced me to him. She had rung up her brother at the
flat where he was staying, and, finding that he was out, she gave a
message for him to the porter. It was simply that he was to ring her up
as soon as he came in.

"Ring up who?" said the porter. At least I suppose he did, for Celia
repeated her name (and mine) very slowly and distinctly.

"Mrs. who?" said the porter, "What?" or "I can't hear," or something
equally foolish.

Celia then repeated our name again.

There followed a long conversation between the two of them, the
audible part of it (that is Celia's) consisting of my name given
forth in a variety of intonations, in the manner of one who sings an
anthem--hopefully, pathetically, dramatically, despairingly.

Up to this moment I had been rather attached to my name. True, it wants a
little explaining to shopkeepers. There are certain consonants
in it which require to be elided or swallowed or swivelled round the
glottis, in order to give the name its proper due. But after five or six
applications the shopkeeper grasps one's meaning.

Well, as I say, I was attached to my name. But after listening to Celia
for five minutes I realized that there had been some horrible mistake.
People weren't called that.

"Just wait a moment," I said to her rather anxiously, and picked up the
telephone book. To my great relief I found that Celia was right. There
_was_ a per