son of that name living at my address.

"You're quite right," I said. "Go on."

"I wish I had married somebody called Jones," said Celia, looking up at
me rather reproachfully. "No, no, not Jones," she added hastily down the
telephone, and once more she repeated the unhappy name.

"It isn't my fault," I protested. "You did have a choice; I had none. Try
spelling it. It spells all right."

Celia tried spelling it.

"I'm going to spell it," she announced very distinctly down the
telephone. "Are you ready? ... M ... No, _M_. M for mother."

That gave me an idea.

"Come away," I said, seizing the telephone; "leave it to me. Now, then,"
I called to the porter. "Never mind about the name. Just tell him to ring
up his _sister_." And I looked at Celia triumphantly.

"Ask him to ring up his mother," said the porter. "Very well, sir."

"No, not the mother. That was something else. Forget all about that
mother. He's to ring up his sister ... _sister_ ... SISTER."

"You'll have to spell it," said Celia.

"I'm going to spell it," I shouted. "Are you ready? ... _S_ for--for
sister."

"Now you're going to muddle him," murmured Celia.

"S for sister; have you got that? ... No, _sister_, idiot. I for idiot,"
I added quickly. "S for sister--this is another sister, of course. T
for two. Got that? No, _two_. Two anything--two more sisters, if you
like. E for--E for--" I turned helplessly to Celia: "quick, a word to
begin with E! I've got him moving now. E for--quick, before his tympanum
runs down."

"Er--er--" Desperately she tried to think.

"E for er," I shouted. "That'll be another sister, I expect ... Celia, I
believe we ought to spell it with an 'H.' Can't you think of a better
word?"

"Enny," said Celia, having quite lost her nerve by this time.

"E for enny," I shouted. "Any anything. Any of the sisters I've been
telling you about. R for--quick, Celia!"

"Rose," she said hastily.

"R for Rose," I shouted. "Rose the flower--or the sister if you like.
There you are, that's the whole word. Now then, I'll just spell it to
you over again.... Celia, I want another word for E. That last was a bad
one."

"Edith?"

"Good."

I took a deep breath and began.

"S for sister. I for Isabel--Isabel is the name of the sister. S for
another sister--I'll tell you _her_ name directly. T for two sisters,
these two that we're talking about. E for Edith, that's the second sister
whose name I was going to tell you. R for Rose