Head Master_. "Here's _wishing_ you well!"

N.B.--The rod may not be a _whack-simile_ of the original, but our old
Eton Boy says _it is quite near enough_, and, "in his position at the
time," as he adds with truth, "it was impossible to see it."]

* * * * *

The 'Bus Strike being at an end, the newspapers will discontinue
writing _de Omnibus rebus_, and must employ themselves upon _quibusdam
aliis_.

* * * * *

"JUST A GOIN' TO BEGIN."--_The Fourth Centenary_ of the Foundation of
Eton College is the Festival of the _First Saint 'Enery_.

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Commons, Monday, June 15_.--RICHARD CHAMBERLAIN back
to-night, after long absence. Been up the Nile, calling on PTOLEMY and
PHARAOH, and visiting scenes connected with the early life of Brother
JOSEPH. Much enjoyed the trip; entered House to-night full of life and
energy; suddenly pulled up; hair rose; flesh crept; blood chilled.
Was it true? Could it be possible? Yes; no doubt about it. There was
Prince ARTHUR still lounging on Treasury Bench with MADDEN in reserve.
About a score of Members present, including WINDBAG SEXTON, looking on
with his irritating smile of supreme superiority, whilst SAGE of QUEEN
ANNE'S GATE moved rejection of Irish Land Purchase Bill.

[Illustration: Brother Dick]

"Why!" exclaimed Brother DICK, his hair still visibly rising, "when I
was here last, weeks and months ago, they were discussing Irish Land
Bill; Prince ARTHUR sprawled on Treasury Bench; LABBY was denouncing
the Bill as pernicious; and SEXTON, having just sat down and just
going to follow, looked on with sort of pitying toleration of other
people who assumed to know anything of the Bill. Do I dream, or are
there visions about? Think I'll go and pinch JESSE COLLINGS, and see
if I'm awake."

Yes; wide awake; no mistake about the situation; still harping on the
Irish Land Bill; but, thank a merciful Providence, this is the last
night. JOHN MORLEY, who never shrinks from call of duty, rises, and
makes one of those formal, official, somewhat tiresome protests,
recapitulating objections which everyone only too familiar with
through this gruesome spring and saddened summer. Then SAGE OF QUEEN
ANNE'S GATE cracks a few jokes; MORTON appears on scene; attempt made
to Count Out; talk kept going through dinner hour. At e