con-wertin' your face into a
street-door knocker, wen there's so much to be done. Where's the money?'
'In the boot, Sammy, in the boot,' replied Mr. Weller, composing his
features. 'Hold my hat, Sammy.'

Having divested himself of this encumbrance, Mr. Weller gave his body
a sudden wrench to one side, and by a dexterous twist, contrived to get
his right hand into a most capacious pocket, from whence, after a great
deal of panting and exertion, he extricated a pocket-book of the large
octavo size, fastened by a huge leathern strap. From this ledger he drew
forth a couple of whiplashes, three or four buckles, a little sample-bag
of corn, and, finally, a small roll of very dirty bank-notes, from which
he selected the required amount, which he handed over to Sam.

'And now, Sammy,' said the old gentleman, when the whip-lashes, and the
buckles, and the samples, had been all put back, and the book once
more deposited at the bottom of the same pocket, 'now, Sammy, I know a
gen'l'm'n here, as'll do the rest o' the bisness for us, in no time--a
limb o' the law, Sammy, as has got brains like the frogs, dispersed all
over his body, and reachin' to the wery tips of his fingers; a friend
of the Lord Chancellorship's, Sammy, who'd only have to tell him what he
wanted, and he'd lock you up for life, if that wos all.'

'I say,' said Sam, 'none o' that.'

'None o' wot?' inquired Mr. Weller.

'Wy, none o' them unconstitootional ways o' doin' it,' retorted Sam.
'The have-his-carcass, next to the perpetual motion, is vun of
the blessedest things as wos ever made. I've read that 'ere in the
newspapers wery of'en.'

'Well, wot's that got to do vith it?' inquired Mr. Weller.

'Just this here,' said Sam, 'that I'll patronise the inwention, and
go in, that vay. No visperin's to the Chancellorship--I don't like the
notion. It mayn't be altogether safe, vith reference to gettin' out
agin.'

Deferring to his son's feeling upon this point, Mr. Weller at once
sought the erudite Solomon Pell, and acquainted him with his desire to
issue a writ, instantly, for the SUM of twenty-five pounds, and costs
of process; to be executed without delay upon the body of one Samuel
Weller; the charges thereby incurred, to be paid in advance to Solomon
Pell.

The attorney was in high glee, for the embarrassed coach-horser
was ordered to be discharged forthwith. He highly approved of Sam's
attachment to his master; declared that it strongly reminded him of