red-nosed man and Mrs. Weller looked at the elder W.
and groaned.

'Well, Sammy,' said the gentleman, 'I hope you'll find your spirits rose
by this here lively wisit. Wery cheerful and improvin' conwersation,
ain't it, Sammy?'

'You're a reprobate,' replied Sam; 'and I desire you won't address no
more o' them ungraceful remarks to me.'

So far from being edified by this very proper reply, the elder Mr.
Weller at once relapsed into a broad grin; and this inexorable conduct
causing the lady and Mr. Stiggins to close their eyes, and rock
themselves to and fro on their chairs, in a troubled manner, he
furthermore indulged in several acts of pantomime, indicative of a
desire to pummel and wring the nose of the aforesaid Stiggins, the
performance of which, appeared to afford him great mental relief. The
old gentleman very narrowly escaped detection in one instance; for Mr.
Stiggins happening to give a start on the arrival of the negus, brought
his head in smart contact with the clenched fist with which Mr. Weller
had been describing imaginary fireworks in the air, within two inches of
his ear, for some minutes.

'Wot are you a-reachin' out, your hand for the tumbler in that 'ere
sawage way for?' said Sam, with great promptitude. 'Don't you see you've
hit the gen'l'm'n?'

'I didn't go to do it, Sammy,' said Mr. Weller, in some degree abashed
by the very unexpected occurrence of the incident.

'Try an in'ard application, sir,' said Sam, as the red-nosed gentleman
rubbed his head with a rueful visage. 'Wot do you think o' that, for a
go o' wanity, warm, Sir?'

Mr. Stiggins made no verbal answer, but his manner was expressive. He
tasted the contents of the glass which Sam had placed in his hand,
put his umbrella on the floor, and tasted it again, passing his hand
placidly across his stomach twice or thrice; he then drank the whole at
a breath, and smacking his lips, held out the tumbler for more.

Nor was Mrs. Weller behind-hand in doing justice to the composition. The
good lady began by protesting that she couldn't touch a drop--then
took a small drop--then a large drop--then a great many drops; and her
feelings being of the nature of those substances which are powerfully
affected by the application of strong waters, she dropped a tear with
every drop of negus, and so got on, melting the feelings down, until at
length she had arrived at a very pathetic and decent pitch of misery.

The elder Mr. Weller observed these s