'You shall eat your words,
With a sarse of leaden bul-let;'
So he puts a pistol to his mouth,
And he fires it down his gul-let.
The coachman he not likin' the job,
Set off at full gal-lop,
But Dick put a couple of balls in his nob,
And perwailed on him to stop.

CHORUS (sarcastically)

But Dick put a couple of balls in his nob,
And perwailed on him to stop.

'I maintain that that 'ere song's personal to the cloth,' said the
mottled-faced gentleman, interrupting it at this point. 'I demand the
name o' that coachman.'

'Nobody know'd,' replied Sam. 'He hadn't got his card in his pocket.'

'I object to the introduction o' politics,' said the mottled-faced
gentleman. 'I submit that, in the present company, that 'ere song's
political; and, wot's much the same, that it ain't true. I say that that
coachman did not run away; but that he died game--game as pheasants; and
I won't hear nothin' said to the contrairey.'

As the mottled-faced gentleman spoke with great energy and
determination, and as the opinions of the company seemed divided on
the subject, it threatened to give rise to fresh altercation, when Mr.
Weller and Mr. Pell most opportunely arrived.

'All right, Sammy,' said Mr. Weller.

'The officer will be here at four o'clock,' said Mr. Pell. 'I suppose
you won't run away meanwhile, eh? Ha! ha!'

'P'raps my cruel pa 'ull relent afore then,' replied Sam, with a broad
grin.

'Not I,' said the elder Mr. Weller.

'Do,' said Sam.

'Not on no account,' replied the inexorable creditor.

'I'll give bills for the amount, at sixpence a month,' said Sam.

'I won't take 'em,' said Mr. Weller.

'Ha, ha, ha! very good, very good,' said Mr. Solomon Pell, who was
making out his little bill of costs; 'a very amusing incident indeed!
Benjamin, copy that.' And Mr. Pell smiled again, as he called Mr.
Weller's attention to the amount.

'Thank you, thank you,' said the professional gentleman, taking up
another of the greasy notes as Mr. Weller took it from the pocket-book.
'Three ten and one ten is five. Much obliged to you, Mr. Weller. Your
son is a most deserving young man, very much so indeed, Sir. It's a
very pleasant trait in a young man's character, very much so,' added Mr.
Pell, smiling smoothly round, as he buttoned up the money.

'Wot a game it is!' said the elder Mr. Weller, with a chuckle. 'A
reg'lar prodigy son!'

'Prodigal--prodigal son, Sir,' s