, The Parthenon,
Puddlecombe. Next, Reigate Rotunda.

_The Epoch_ says: "Jolly Jenkin has the Evil Eye. In the Middle
Ages he would have been burnt.".

* * * * *

"Men who are physically fit can be released from clerical duties
and replaced by hen only fit for sedentary occupations."--_Daily
Paper._

Broody, in fact.

* * * * *

HOW I DINED WITH THE PRESIDENT.

The Truth about Wilson.
[SPECIAL TO _PUNCH_.]

On Saturday, January 22nd, I arrived in Washington from Seattle. The
Seattle part is another story.

What I have to tell to-day, here, now, and once for all, is what I saw
of the President at close quarters outside and inside the White House
and what happened at the historic dinner-party, at which I was the only
representative of a belligerent country present.

By a fortunate coincidence Mr. Wilson arrived at the railway depot on
his return from a game of golf with his secretary, Mr. Tumulty, as I was
loitering at the bookstall. I had never seen either of them before, but
intuitively recognised them in a flash. Mr. Tumulty looked exactly as a
man with so momentous a name could only look. The President was garbed
in a neutral-tinted lounge-suit and wore a dark fawn overcoat and
dove-coloured spats.

How did the President look? Well, his face was obviously the face of a
changed man. Not that he is changed for the worse. He seemed in the pink
of condition, and his clean-cut profile and firm jaw radiated inflexible
determination at every pore. No signs of a moustache are yet visible on
his finely-chiselled upper lip.

I had no introduction, and no time was to be lost, so without a moment's
hesitation I strode up to the President and said, "Permit me, Sir, as
the accredited representative of a neutral nation, to offer you this
token of respect," and handed him a small Dutch cheese, a dainty to
which I had been informed he was especially partial. The President
smiled graciously, handed the offering to his secretary, and said, "I
thank you, Sir. Won't you join us at the White House at dinner
to-night?" I expressed my acceptance in suitable terms, bowed and passed
on.

The dinner took place in the famous octagonal dining-room of the White
House, which was profusely decorated with the flags of the Scandinavian
Kingdoms, Spain, Greece, China, Chile, Peru, Brazil and the Argentine.

The band of the Washington Post Office R