I took the book, which was a masterpiece of illegibility, and added it
up with my usual grace and felicity.

"Francesca," I said as I finished my task, "my total differs from the
butcher's, but the difference is in his favour, not in mine. He seems to
have imparted variety to his calculations by considering that it took
twenty pence to make a shilling, which is a generous error. Now let me
deal with the baker while you tackle the grocer, and then we'll wind up
by doing the washing-book together."

The washing-book was a teaser, the items being apparently entered in
Chaldee, but we stumbled through it at last.

"And now," I said, "we can take up the subject of thrift."

"I don't want to talk about it," she said, "I'm thoroughly tired of it.
We've talked too much about it already."

"You're wrong there; we haven't talked half enough. If we had, the books
wouldn't have gone up."

"They haven't gone up," she said. "They're about the same, but we've
been having less."

"Noble creature," I said, "do you mean to say that you've docked me of
one of my Sunday sausages and the whole of my Thursday roly-poly pudding
and never said a word about it?"

"Well, you didn't seem to notice it, so I left it alone."

"Ah, but I did notice it," I said, "but I determined to suffer in
silence in order to set an example to the children."

"That was bravely done," she said. "It encourages me to cut down the
Saturday sirloin."

"But what will the servants say? They won't like it."

"They'll have to lump it then."

"But I thought servants never lumped it. I thought they always insisted
on their elevenses and all their other food privileges."

"Anyhow," she said, "I'm going to make a push for economy and the
servants must push with me. They won't starve, whatever happens."

"No, and if they begin to object you can talk to them about tonnage."

"That ought to bowl them over. But hadn't I better know what it means
before I mention it?"

"Yes, that might be an advantage."

"You see," she said, "Mrs. Mincer devotes to the reading of newspapers
all the time she can spare from the cooking of meals and she'd be sure
to trip me up if I ventured to say anything about tonnage."

"Learn then," I said, "that tonnage means the amount of space reserved
for cargoes on ships--at least I suppose that's what it means, and----"

"You don't seem very sure about it. Hadn't you better look it up?"

"No," I said. "That's good enough for Mrs.