famous soprano, writes:--

"Butt me no butts. Though carping critics flout us, What would
Diogenes have done without us?"

A distinguished actor gives as his favourite quotation the couplet from
Goldsmith:--

"A man he was financially unique, And passing poor on forty pounds
a week."

Mr. Bernard Shaw contributes this characteristic definition of genius:--

"Genius consists in an infinite capacity for giving pain."

The Air Candidate for Mile End sends the following witty and topical
epigram:--

"Mid war's alarms there is no time for cooing, But Billing may
prevent our land's undoing."

* * * * *

"We are all familiar with the poetic words: 'There's many a gem
that's born to blush unseen, and waste its fragrance on the desert
air.'"--_Kilmarnock Herald._

Our own ignorance of this gem makes us blush (unseen, we hope).

* * * * *

"How To Keep Warm.--In Great Britain I think a shirt, vest and coat
enough covering for the ordinary man. I wear no more."

_Reynolds Newspaper._

No one who follows this advice need fear a chill. The police are sure to
make it warm for him.

* * * * *

"When Sir Stanley (now Lord) Buckmaster succeeded Mr. (now Sir) F.
E. Smith in the chief responsibility for the Bureau he made a point
of betting on friendly terms with the representatives of the Fourth
Estate."

_Bristol Times and Mirror._

Several of them, it is well known, have been charged with book-making.

* * * * *

"Lady (Young) seeks Sit. in shop; butcher's preferred; would like
to learn scales."

_Morning Paper._

Why not try a piano-monger's?

[Illustration: _She._ "And are you only just back from the trenches? How
interesting! You will be able to tell us the real truth about the
Kaiser's illness."]

* * * * *

A DUEL OF ENDURANCE.

Our butcher's name is Bones. Yes, I know it sounds too good to be true.
But I can't help it. Once more, his name is Bones.

There is something wrong with Bones. Mark him as he stands there among
all those bodies of sheep and oxen, feeling with his thumb the edge of
that long sha