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PART II.

MR ARTHUR ANSARD'S _Chambers as before_. MR ANSARD. _with his eyes
fixed upon the wig block, gnawing the feather end of his pen. The
table, covered with sundry sheets of foolscap, show strong symptoms of
the Novel progressing_.

ANSARD (_solus_).

Where is Barnstaple? If he do not come soon, I shall have finished my
novel without a heroine. Well, I'm not the first person who has been
foiled by a woman. (_Continues to gnaw his pen in a brown study_.)

BARNSTAPLE _enters unperceived, and slaps_ ANSARD _on the shoulder. The
latter starts up_.

_B_. So, friend Ansard, making your dinner off your pen: it is not
every novel-writer who can contrive to do that even in anticipation.
Have you profited by my instructions?

_A_. I wish I had. I assure you that this light diet has not
contributed, as might be expected, to assist a heavy head, and one
feather is not sufficient to enable my genius to take wing. If the
public knew what dull work it is to write a novel, they would not be
surprised at finding them dull reading. _Ex nihilo nihil fit_.
Barnstaple, I am at the very bathos of stupidity.

_B_. You certainly were absorbed when I entered, for I introduced
myself.

_A_. I wish you had introduced another personage with you--you would
have been doubly welcome.

_B_. Who is that?

_A_. My heroine. I have followed your instructions to the letter. My
hero is as listless as I fear my readers will be, and he is not yet in
love. In fact, he is only captivated with himself. I have made him
dismiss Coridon.

_B_. Hah! how did you manage that?

_A_. He was sent to ascertain the arms on the panel of a carriage. In
his eagerness to execute his master's wishes, he came home with a
considerable degree of perspiration on his brow, for which offence he
was immediately put out of doors.

_B_. Bravo--it was unpardonable--but still--

_A_. O! I know what you mean--that is all arranged; he has an annuity
of one hundred pounds per annum.

_B_. My dear Ansard, you have exceeded my expectations; but now for the
heroine.

_A_. Yes, indeed; help me--for I have exhausted all my powers.

_B_. It certainly requires much tact to present your heroine to your
readers. We are unfortunately denied what the ancients were so happy to
possess,--a whole _cortege_ of divinities that might be summoned to help
any great personage in, or the author out of, a difficulty; but since we
cannot command