u should have certain landmarks
to guide you. For instance, enumerate the following, and select the
works from which they may be obtained, so as to mix up the instructive
with the amusing. Travelling--remarks on country passed through--
anecdote--arrival at a town--churches--population--historical remarks--
another anecdote--eating and drinking--natural curiosities--egotism--
remarks on the women (never mind the men)--another anecdote--
reflections--an adventure--and go to bed. You understand, Ansard, that
in these memoranda you have all that is required; the rule is not to be
followed absolutely, but generally. As you observed, such is to be the
tune, but your variations may be infinite. When at a loss, or you think
you are dull, always call in a grisette, and a little mystery; and,
above all, never be afraid of talking too much about yourself.

_Ansard_. Many, many thanks; but now, my dear Barnstaple, for the first
chapter.

_Barnstaple_. Let your style be flowery--I should say florid--never
mind a false epithet or two in a page, they will never be observed. A
great deal depends upon the first two pages--you must not limp at
starting; we will, therefore, be particular. Take your pen.

[BARNSTAPLE _muses for a while, and then continues_.]
"A severe cough, which refused to yield even to the balmy influence of
the genial spring of 18--, and threatened a pulmonary complaint, induced
me to yield to the reiterated persuasions of my physicians to try a
change of air, as most likely to ward off the threatened danger. Where
to direct my steps was the difficult point to ascertain. Brighton,
Torquay, Cromer, Ilfracombe, had all been visited and revisited. At
either of these fashionable resorts I was certain to fall in with a
numerous acquaintance, whose persuasions would have induced me to depart
from that regularity of diet and of rest, so imperiously insisted upon
by my medical advisers. After much cogitation, I resolved upon a
journey up the Rhine, and to escape the ruthless winter of our northern
clime in the more genial land of history."

_Ansard_. Land of history--I presume you mean Italy; but am I to go
there?

_Barnstaple_. No, you may recover, and come back again to skate upon
the Serpentine, if you please. You observe, Ansard, I have not made you
a fellow with 50 pounds in his pocket, setting out to turn it into 300
pounds by a book of travels. I have avoided mention of Margate,