ANOTHER IMPENDING APOLOGY.

"If this pianist is not heard again in Shanghai, he will carry away
with him the grateful thanks of our music-lovers."

_Shanghai Mercury_.

* * * * *

"This debate will immediately precede the introduction of the
Budget, and will, let us hope, inaugurate a campaign for national
entrenchment."--_Provincial Paper._

Ah! if only, as taxpayers, we could dig ourselves in!

* * * * *

THE HOUSING QUESTION.

Someone estimated the other day that England is short just now of five
hundred thousand houses. This is a miscalculation. She is really short
of five hundred thousand and one, the odd one being the house that we
are looking for and cannot find.

We have discovered many houses in our tour of London, but none that
gives complete satisfaction. Either the locality or the shape or the
price is all wrong; or, as more often happens, the fixtures. By the
fixtures I mean, of course, the people who are already in the place and
refuse to come out of it; London is full of houses with the wrong people
in them.

"I wonder," says Celia, standing outside some particularly desirable
residence, "if we dare go in and ask them if they wouldn't like to
move."

"We can't live there unless they do," I agreed. "It would be so
crowded."

"After all, I suppose they took it from somebody else some time or
other. I don't see why we shouldn't take it from _them_."

"As soon as they put a 'TO LET' board outside we will."

Celia hangs about hopefully for some days after this, waiting for a man
to come along with a "TO LET" board over his shoulder. As soon as he
plants it in the front garden she means to rush forward, strike out the
"TO," and present herself to the occupier with her cheque-book in her
hand. It is thus, she assures me, that the best houses are snapped up;
but it is weary waiting, and I cannot take my turn on guard, for I must
stay at home and earn the money which the landlord (sordid fellow) will
want.

Sometimes we search the advertisement columns in the papers in the hope
of finding something that may do.

"Here's one," I announced one morning; "'For American millionaires and
others. Fifteen bathrooms--' Oh, no, that's too big."

"Isn't there anything for English hundredaires?" said Celia.

"Here's one that says 'reasonable offer taken.'"

"Yes, but I don't suppose we reason the same way as he does