growing beards. I even took
advantage of Armageddon to join the Navy, where beards are permitted;
but when I tried to start growing one I was instantly reprimanded for
not shaving by a bearded Commander, who had the same triumphant gleam of
superiority which I had noticed ashore.

In the Old Testament there was no secrecy on the subject. Somebody said,
"Tarry in Jericho until your beards be grown." But I am quite satisfied
in my own mind that modern beard-growers do not go to Jericho; I have
established this fact. No, there are in England properly organised
beard-nurseries, and the secret of their whereabouts is jealously
guarded; but I have by no means relaxed my determination to discover
them, and to give to the world the results of my research.

* * * * *

GRAND REFUSALS.

At the private reception the night before Miss CARNEGIE'S wedding, "the
ironmaster," so we read in our _Daily Mail_, "entertained his guests
with numerous reminiscences of his life, and it was observed that
he interrupted a story concerning King EDWARD and Skibo to whisper
something in his daughter's ear concerning her dowry. He was telling the
guests how the King offered to make him a Duke if he would bring about a
coalition between England and the United States. 'I told King EDWARD,'
said Mr. CARNEGIE, 'that in these United States every man is King. Why
should I be a Duke?'"

It is pleasant to read of the heroic refusal of the staunch Republican
to compromise the principles which he so eloquently vindicated in his
_Triumphant Democracy_; but it is only right to add that this is not an
isolated case.

Thus it is a literally open secret that when a famous ventriloquist was
offered the O.B.E. for his services in popularising the Navy, he refused
the coveted distinction on the ground that it would be derogatory to a
Prince to accept it.

When Sir HENRY DUKE retired from the Chief Secretaryship of Ireland he
was offered a Viscounty, but declined the proffered distinction, wittily
observing that as he was born a Duke he did not see why he should
descend to a lower grade of the peerage.

Then there is the notorious case of Mr. KING who, on being offered a
peerage if he would desist from his criticisms of Mr. LLOYD GEORGE and
his Ministry, pointed out that other monarchs might abdicate, but that
those who thought _he_ would do so clearly knew not JOSEPH.

As for the titles, decorations and distinctions offered b