resented her daughter at Court, and having given
(in London) a party which was attended by Royalty, she is beyond the
reach of cavil or reproach. Here and there a jealous and disappointed
social rival may still mutter dark hints about ancient vagaries, and
meaning looks may still be exchanged by male and female gossips,
but for the great mass of those who frequent Society she is as
irreproachable as though her ancestry for twenty generations had been
set down in the pages of _Burke_ or _Debrett_. Eventually she marries
her daughter to the younger son of an Earl, and having made of the
marriage festivities _the_ great social function of the Season, she
herself soon afterwards retires to some extent from the business of
Society, and devotes herself chiefly to the cultivation of simple
pleasures and hot-house flowers in a luxurious retreat on the banks of
the Thames.

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES.

SOCIAL.

"_Haven't missed a word you said_;" _i.e._, "Gracious! where was she?"

"_Not exactly pretty, perhaps, but so nice_;" _i.e._, "As pappy in
character as she is plain in face."

RAILROAD AMENITIES.

"_No, thanks; reading in a railway carriage always tries my poor eyes
so_;" _i.e._, "I've better occupation for them just now."

"_Pardon my drawing the blind; the glare in a railway carriage
always makes my head ache_;" _i.e._, "Shows up my wrinkles and
moustache-dye."

THEATRICAL.

"_She is an intelligent and experienced artist_;" _i.e._, Much too old
for the part.

EFFUSIVE FLATTERY.

"_Thank you so much for your dear little Book of Poems. I haven't read
them yet, but next time we meet I'll tell you what I think of them_;"
_i.e._, "I hereby make a solemn resolution, if I can possibly help it,
never to meet you again in this life."

PERFUNCTORY APOLOGY.

"_I hope I didn't hurt you. I'm sure I beg your pardon_;" _i.e._,
"Stupid fool! Serves you right for sticking out your feet, and
tripping up everybody who happens to stumble on to them."

* * * * *

[Illustration: REDUCED TO A SHADOW!--Probable Result of Parliamentary
Pressure.]

* * * * *

DIANA AT DINNER.

[On the first page of the prospectus of the
recently-established "Dorothy" Restaurant it is stated that
it is for "Ladies only." On the last page will be found the
following modification:--"At the request of many of the