ad not been more than four days on board the ship of the line in
which I took my passage to England, when I felt my spirits buoyant, and
my levity almost amounting to delirium. The hours of reflection were at
first shortened, and then dismissed entirely. The general mirth of my
new shipmates, at the thoughts of once more revisiting their dear native
land, the anticipation of indulging in the sensual worship of Bacchus
and Venus, the constant theme of discourse among the midshipmen--the
loud and senseless applause bestowed upon the coarsest ribaldry--these
all had their share in destroying that religious frame of mind in which
I had parted with my first captain, and seemed to awaken me to a sense
of the folly I had been guilty of in quitting a ship where I was not
only at the head of my mess, but in a fair way for promotion. I
considered that I had acted the part of a madman, and had again begun to
renew my career of sin and of folly, a little, and but a little, sobered
by the recent event.

We arrived in England after the usual passage from the Rock. I
consented to pass two days at Portsmouth, with my new companions, to
revisit our old haunts, and to commit those excesses which fools and
knaves applauded and partook of at my expense, leaving me full leisure
to repent, after we separated. I, however, did muster resolution enough
to pack my trunk; and, after an extravagant supper at the Fountain,
retired to bed intoxicated, and the next morning, with an aching head,
threw myself into the coach and drove off for London. A day of much
hilarity is generally succeeded by one of depression. This is fair and
natural; we draw too largely on our stock, and squander our enjoyment
like our money, leaving us the next day with low spirits and a lower
purse.

A stupid dejection succeeded the boisterous mirth of the overnight. I
slumbered in a corner of the coach till about one o'clock, when we
reached Godalming, where I alighted, took a slight refreshment, and
resumed my seat. As we drove along, I had more leisure, and was in a
fitter frame of mind to review my past conduct since I had quitted my
ship at Gibraltar. My self-examination, as usual, produced no
satisfactory results. I perceived that the example of bad company had
swept away every trace of good resolution which I had made on the death
of my mother. I saw with grief, that I had no dependence on myself; I
had forgotten all my good intentions, and the firm vows o