an hour on a Sunday."

"But why more on a Sunday than any other day?" said the captain.

"Why?" said Neptune. "Why, because she'd been keeping Saturday night,
to be sure; besides, she has less to do of a Sunday, and more time to
think of her sins, and do penance."

"But you would not have a prince strike a lady, surely?"

"Wouldn't I? No, to be sure, if she behave herself as _sich_, on no
account; but if she gives tongue, and won't keep sober, I'd sarve her as
I do Amphy--don't I, Amphy?" chucking the goddess under the chin. "We
have no bad wives in the bottom of the sea: and so if you don't know how
to keep 'em in order, send them to us."

"But your majesty's remedy is violent; we should have a rebellion in
England, if the king was to beat his wife."

"Make the lords in waiting do it, then," said the surly god; "and if
they are too lazy, which I dare say they are, send for a boatswain's
mate from the Royal Billy--he'd sarve her out, I warrant you, and for
half a gallon of rum would teach the yeomen of the guard to dance the
binnacle hornpipe into the bargain."

"His royal highness shall certainly hear your advice, Mr Neptune; but
whether he will follow it or not, is not for me to say. Would you
please to drink his royal highness's good health?"

"With all my heart, sir; I was always loyal to my king, and ready to
drink his health, and to fight for him."

The captain presented the god with a bumper of Madeira, and another to
the goddess.

"Here's a good health and a long life to our gracious king and all the
royal family. The roads are unkimmon dusty, and we hav'n't wet our lips
since we left St. Thomas on the line, this morning. But we have no time
to lose, captain," said the sea god; "I see many new faces here, as
requires washing and shaving; and if we add bleeding and physic, they
will be all the better for it."

The captain nodded assent; and Neptune, striking the deck with the end
of his trident, commanded attention, and thus addressed his court: "Hark
ye, my Tritons, you are called here to shave, duck, and physic all as
needs; but I command you to be gentle. I'll have no ill-usage; if we
gets a bad name, we gets no more fees; and the first of you as disobeys
my orders, I'll tie him to a ten-inch mortar, and sink him ten thousand
fathoms deep in the ocean, where he shall feed on salt water and
sea-weed for a hundred years: begone to your work." Twelve constables,
with thick sticks, immediately