rk into as
many parcels as there were claimants, always produced remonstrance,
reproof, and blows. I was never quarrelsome, and took the part allotted
to me quietly enough, until, they finding my disposition to submit, I
found my portion daily decrease; and on the resignation of the
thirteenth caterer, I volunteered my services, which were gladly
accepted.

Aware of the danger and difficulty of my situation, I was prepared
accordingly. On the first day that I shared the provisions, I took very
good care of number one, and, as I had foreseen, was attacked by two or
three for my lion-like division of the prey. Upon this, I made them a
short speech, observing, that if they supposed I meant to take the
trouble of catering for nothing, they were much mistaken; that the small
difference I made between their portions and mine, if equally divided
among them, would not fill a hollow tooth, and that, after my own share,
all others should be distributed with the most rigid impartiality and
scrupulous regard to justice.

This very reasonable speech did not satisfy them. I was challenged to
decide the point _a la Cribb_; two candidates for the honour stepped out
at once. I desired them to toss up; and having soon defeated the
winner, I recommended him to return to his seat. The next man came
forward, hoping to find an easy victory, after the fatigue of a recent
battle; but he was mistaken, and retired with severe chastisement. The
next day I took my seat, cleared for action--coat, waistcoat, and
neckcloth off. I observed that I should proceed as I had done before,
and was ready to hold a court of Oyer and Terminer; but no suitors
appeared, and I held the office of caterer from that day till I quitted
the ship, by the strongest of all possible claims--first, by election;
and, secondly, by right of conquest.

We had not been many days at sea before we discovered that our first
lieutenant was a most abominable tyrant, a brutal fellow, a drunkard,
and a glutton, with a long red nose, and a large belly; he frequently
sent half a dozen grown-up midshipmen to the mast-head at a time. This
man I determined to turn out of the ship, and mentioned my intention to
my mess-mates, promising them success if they would only follow my
advice. They quite laughed at the idea; but I was firm and told them
that it should come to pass if they would but behave so ill as just to
incur a slight punishment or reprimand from "Nosey" every day; th