uch a degree as I often have presented
myself to you, Maecenas, so as perhaps impertinently to interrupt a
person reading, or musing, with any kind of prate? We cry, "[this
fellow] actually wants common sense." Alas! how indiscreetly do we
ordain a severe law against ourselves! For no one Is born without vices:
he is the best man who is encumbered with the least. When my dear
friend, as is just, weighs my good qualities against my bad ones, let
him, if he is willing to be beloved, turn the scale to the majority of
the former (if I have indeed a majority of good qualities), on this
condition, he shall be placed in the same balance. He who requires that
his friend should not take offence at his own protuberances, will excuse
his friend's little warts. It is fair that he who entreats a pardon for
his own faults, should grant one in his turn.

Upon the whole, forasmuch as the vice anger, as well as others inherent
in foolish [mortals], cannot be totally eradicated, why does not human
reason make use of its own weights and measures; and so punish faults,
as the nature of the thing demands? If any man should punish with the
cross, a slave, who being ordered to take away the dish should gorge
the half-eaten fish and warm sauce; he would, among people in their
senses, be called a madder man than Labeo. How much more irrational and
heinous a crime is this! Your friend has been guilty of a small error
(which, unless you forgive, you ought to be reckoned a sour, ill-natured
fellow), you hate and avoid him, as a debtor does Ruso; who, when the
woful calends come upon the unfortunate man, unless he procures the
interest or capital by hook or by crook, is compelled to hear his
miserable stories with his neck stretched out like a slave. [Should my
friend] in his liquor water my couch, or has he thrown down a jar carved
by the hands of Evander: shall he for this [trifling] affair, or because
in his hunger he has taken a chicken before me out of my part of the
dish, be the less agreeable friend to me? [If so], what could I do if he
was guilty of theft, or had betrayed things committed to him in
confidence, or broken his word. They who are pleased [to rank all]
faults nearly on an equality, are troubled when they come to the truth
of the matter: sense and morality are against them, and utility itself,
the mother almost of right and of equity.

When [rude] animals, they crawled forth upon the first-formed earth, the
mute and dirty herd f