ssipated at the middle of the exchange,
detached from all business of my own, I mind that of other people. For
formerly I used to take a delight in inquiring, in what vase the crafty
Sisyphus might have washed his feet; what was carved in an unworkmanlike
manner, and what more roughly cast than it ought to be; being a
connoisseur, I offered a hundred thousand sesterces for such a statue; I
was the only man who knew how to purchase gardens and fine seats to the
best advantage: whence the crowded ways gave me the surname of
Mercurial. I know it well; and am amazed at your being cured of that
disorder. Why a new disorder expelled the old one in a marvelous manner;
as it is accustomed to do, when the pain of the afflicted side, or the
head, is turned upon the stomach; as it is with a man in a lethargy,
when he turns boxer, and attacks his physician. As long as you do
nothing like this, be it even as you please. O my good friend, do not
deceive yourself; you likewise are mad, and it is almost "fools all," if
what Stertinius insists upon has any truth in it; from whom, being of a
teachable disposition, I derived these admirable precepts, at the very
time when, having given me consolation, he ordered me to cultivate a
philosophical beard, and to return cheerfully from the Fabrician bridge.
For when, my affairs being desperate, I had a mind to throw myself into
the river, having covered my head [for that purpose], he fortunately was
at my elbow; and [addressed me to this effect]: Take care, how do any
thing unworthy of yourself; a false shame, says he, afflicts you, who
dread to be esteemed a madman among madmen. For in the first place, I
will inquire, what it is to be mad: and, if this distemper be in you
exclusively, I will not add a single word, to prevent you from dying
bravely.

The school and sect of Chrysippus deem every man mad, whom vicious folly
or the ignorance of truth drives blindly forward. This definition takes
in whole nations, this even great kings, the wise man [alone] excepted.
Now learn, why all those, who have fixed the name of madman upon you,
are as senseless as yourself. As in the woods, where a mistake makes
people wander about from the proper path; one goes out of the way to the
right, another to the left; there is the same blunder on both sides,
only the illusion is in different directions: in this manner imagine
yourself mad; so that he, who derides you, hangs his tail not one jot
wiser than yourself