ve. She
must not offer herself unsought. She may not fling herself into the
arms of any man's pity.

Whether there are any women who avail themselves of the supposed
privilege of Leap Year, is a question that can only be answered by
those who possibly prefer to keep silence. It is a questionable joke
when a man says before his wife that "she married him"; but can any
self-respecting woman conceive the humiliation of having such words,
with the sting of truth in them, flung at her in the moment of passion
or with the cool contempt of scorn?

{51}

CHAPTER VIII

_Engagements--The Attitude of Parents and Guardians--Making it
Known--In the Family--To Outside Friends--Congratulations--The
Choice and Giving of the Ring--Making Acquaintance of Future
Relations--Personally or by Letter._

Engagements.

In former days Etiquette demanded that the suitor should first make
his request to the lady's parents. This may still be done with
advantage in exceptional cases, notably that of a young man with his
way still to make, but whose love and ambition prompt him to choose a
wife from the higher social circle to which he hopes to climb. In the
ordinary run of life the suitor goes first to the principal person,
and when fortified by her consent bravely faces the parental music. It
is not honourable for a man to make a girl an offer when he knows that
her parents have a pronounced objection to him as a son-in-law. So
long as she is under age, or in a dependent position, he has no right
to ask her to either deceive or defy those to whom she owes duty and
obedience.

The Interview.

"Asking Papa" is often a momentous matter. Some fathers are quite
unreasonable, but the more honest and straightforward the suitor is
the better. Let him be modest, but without cringing. There should be
no suspicion that he is conferring a favour; he is rather asking a man
to give him of his best, and it is his love that emboldens him to make
the request.

He should state plainly what his income and prospects are, the
probable date at which he will be able to marry, and how he {52}
proposes to provide for his wife. He must not resent being somewhat
closely questioned before his reception into a family, and should be
ready to give all particulars respecting himself that may be required.
Parents who value their daughter do right to exercise wise forethought
before entrusting her to a comparative stranger. He should carefully
avoid any uns