pathetic position, and the best thing he can do is
to find some nice woman to console him and mother the little ones. It
is a pity that the two {116} qualifications cannot always go together.
It is rather risky for a sister or a niece to regard the home offered her
by a widowed brother or uncle as a permanency. Men who are apparently
satisfied with existing arrangements have a way of springing surprises
upon their devoted womenfolk, and when the new wife appears, the
sister or niece who has tided him over the worst part of his life must
find a home elsewhere. Of course the man is quite within his rights,
but I would warn those who may be living in a fool's paradise.

The widower with a house or estate would, naturally, consult the
future mistress of it about any alterations he proposed making before
his marriage. On her visits of inspection she would either be
chaperoned by her mother or some married relation; but, if more
convenient, he would ask a lady friend to come and meet her. If he had
a grown-up daughter she would continue to preside over his household
till after his marriage. It is not fair for a man to take a second
wife without giving any previous intimation to his adult sons and
daughters who may still be making their home with him. The
installation of a girl step-mother over youths of her own age places
them all in rather a difficult position, and has the possible making
of a tragedy in it. The widower who marries a spinster may go through
all the glories of a smart wedding for a second or third time if he
likes, seeing that it is the condition of the bride that decides such
matters.

Comparison with the Predecessor.

Those who play the role of No. 2 must make up their minds to be
compared, in thought if not in word, involuntarily if not
intentionally, with No. 1, and the process need not necessarily be
painful. Unless there has been some distressing or tragic element in
the first marriage, why should the memory of the dead be banished,
except by jealousy or inconstancy? It is not generous of No. 2 to try
and sweep away all traces of the predecessor. The man or woman who
will lightly abandon all the memories of the partner of youth, is not
so calculated to make an ideal companion for middle age as the one who
cherishes a tender regard for the dead side by side with an honest
love for the living.

{117}

CHAPTER XXI

_Marrying for Love; for Money; for a Home; for a
Housekeeper--Concluding