P.

Any friend who has sent a present before the invitations are out must
be invited. The general feeling seems to be that {76} an invitation to
a wedding involves a present, and that is rather a tax. It also takes
away from that purely voluntary spirit which is the beauty of a gift.
In some cases friends are only asked to the church, the reception at
home being confined to members of the two families.

A bridesmaid who lives at a distance must be asked to stay at the
bride's home for a few days before the wedding.

The death of a near relation would necessitate the postponement of the
wedding, and this would cancel all invitations. In cases of loss more
remote from the young couple, the wedding takes place soon after the
first date, "but quietly, owing to family bereavement." A notice to
this effect is often put in the papers when a marriage has been
publicly announced, but in a more private affair, notes would be sent
to those who had been invited.

{77}

CHAPTER XIII

_Wedding Presents--Choosing and Furnishing the House--What the
Bridegroom Supplies--The Bride's Share in the Matter._

Wedding Presents.

With the increasing luxury and love of display that marks modern life
the wedding-present tax, as I have heard it called, becomes a burden
proportionately heavy to the social ambition of the giver. It seems a
pity that there should be so much vulgarising advertisement about what
are supposed to be private weddings. There is also too much routine in
the choice of the gifts themselves. The perennial mustard-pots and
salt-cellars are monotonous, and while comparative strangers may be
driven to make a conventional offering, private friends might leave
the groove and strike out a new line.

Cheques are only given by old friends or relations of the recipient.
They are always acceptable. The future position of the couple should
be taken into account. Good silver is always a joy, except perhaps
when you have to keep it clean. The young wife with only one servant
will have to rub up her own silver backed brushes and sweetmeat dishes
if she wants them to look nice. Of course it may be said that extra
silver can be put by till circumstances improve, or that it might be
useful in a financial emergency. This last idea is rather a gruesome
one to take to a wedding, and it is in the early days of her
housekeeping that the young wife likes to have her pretty things about
her. Why an artistic chair or table shoul