motives for marrying quite clear to one another, and were not
quite so anxious to preserve a veneer of romance up to the very altar,
matrimony would not be the terrible iconoclast it too often is." This
is plain speaking, and one wonders how many marriages would ever take
place if this precept were carried out. It is true that much has to be
revealed after marriage. The {96} lover has only seen his sweetheart
when she has placed herself on view, so to speak. They were both kept
in check by the uncertainty of their position. The husband sees his
wife under all circumstances, in mentally trying moments, in
physically unbecoming situations. In fact, she has to appear before him
with her hair out of curl, actually and metaphorically, to use a homely
illustration.

Disillusion, Passing or Permanent.

The mental relations between husband and wife must necessarily differ
from those between lovers, and the more honest and sincere they have
been during their courtship, the less painful will be the awakening
after marriage. Where there is both love and trust, coupled with
common sense, a little humour, and a broad view of life, the
disillusion should only be a passing cloud that makes the sunshine all
the brighter for its temporary shade. Where there has been conscious,
or even involuntary, deception, an unreal position or exaggerated
idealisation on either side, the pain of disillusion will be poignant,
and its effect permanent. Things can be sorrowfully and bravely
patched up for mere outward use, but there will be a smart under the
smile, and a blank in the life that should have been so full.

Whatever mental crisis may follow marriage, the two who suffer, for
one seldom suffers alone, will do well to keep their own counsel. If
the silence is too great a strain, it is wiser, though perhaps not so
natural, to seek help from some trusted friend unconnected by kinship
with either family. Relations cannot take an unprejudiced view of the
case; they are bound to be biassed in favour of their own, and even if
family jars are not openly discussed the leaven works, and its effect
is soon perceptible.

{97}

CHAPTER XVII

_The Return Home--A Plunge into the Practical--Housekeeping--Wedding
Calls--The Newly-married Couple at Home and in Society._

The Return Home.

It is the unanimous and unqualified opinion of those who know, that
the first year of married life practically answers the question "Is
Marriage a Fail