oken glass down the tiers of seats and make him believe
there was an earthquake that had destroyed the Coliseum, and that the
lions and tigers were all loose, looking for people to eat, and scare
dad and make a run back to town.

[Illustration: What dad expected of me in the way of amusement 230]

I didn't want to play such a scandalous trick on dad, but the Chicago
man said that was the only way out of it, and he could get a barrel of
broken glass for a dollar, and hire four ruffians that could roar like
lions for a few dollars, and it would give dad good exercise, and may be
save him from a run of Roman fever, 'cause there was nothing like a good
sweat to knock the fever out of a fellow's system. The thing struck me
as not only a good experience for dad, but a life saver, so I whacked up
the money, and the Chicago soap man did the rest.

After dark we went out to the ruin of the Coliseum, where a great many
tourists go to look at the ruins by moonlight, and dad was as anxious
and bloodthirsty as a young surgeon cutting up his first "stiff."
When we got to the right place, and I told dad we were a little early,
because the nobility were not in their seats, the villains began to roar
three dollars' worth like hungry lions, and dad turned a little pale and
said that sounded like the real thing.

I told him we better not get too near, because we were not accustomed
to seeing live men chewed up by beasts, and dad said he didn't care how
near we got, as long as they chewed and tore to pieces the natives; so
we started to work up a little nearer, when there was a noise such as I
never heard before, as the hogshead of broken glass began to roll down
the tiers of stone seats, and I fell over on the ground, and pushed
dad, and he went over in the sand and struck his pants on a cactus, and
yelled that he was stabbed with a dirk.

[Illustration: Went over in the sand and struck his pants on a cactus
233]

I got up and fell down again, and just then the Chicago soap man came
up on a gallop, followed by the villains playing lion and tiger, and dad
asked the Chicago man what seemed to be the matter, and he said: "Matter
enough; there has been an earthquake, and the Coliseum has fallen down,
killing more than 10,-000 Romans, and the animals' cages are busted and
the animals are loose, looking for fresh meat, and we better get right
back to Rome, too quick, or we will be eaten alive. Come on if you are
with me. Do you hear the l