need 'em!"

For Athens, to your great content,
Calls you to be her guiding star
(Only a paltry one per cent
Wanted to leave you where you are);
And you've agreed to take it on,
Jumped at the prospect Fate discloses,
And thought, "With VENEZELOS gone,
Life will be one long bed of roses."

But mark the oversight you made,
Forgetting, while you waxed so fat,
That England, whom you once betrayed,
Might have a word to say to that;
Might, if for love of your fair eyes
Greece should decide again to wobble,
Conceivably withdraw supplies
And cut her off with half an obol.

Roar loud, O Lion of Lucerne!
But lo, upon Britannia's shore
Another Lion takes his turn
And gives a rather louder roar;
Meaning, "It doesn't suit my views
To subsidise two sorts of beano,
And Greece will therefore have to choose
Between her tummy and her TINO."

O. S.

* * * * *

ABOUT GOLF.

Golf is obviously the worst game in the world. I doubt indeed whether
it is a game at all.

It is played with a ball, about which, though I could say much, I will
say little. I will not decide whether it should have a heart of oak
or a heart of gold, whether it should go through a 1.6-inch ring or
a plate-glass window, whether it should sink like the German Navy or
float like the British. Enough, if not too much, has been said about
the standard ball.

Golf is also played with a number of striking implements more
intricate in shape than those used in any other form of recreation
except dentistry. Let so much be agreed.

Now, quite plainly, the essential idea underlying all games played
with a ball, whether a club, stick, mallet, bat or cue be added or no,
is that some interference should take place with the enemy's action,
some thwarting of his purpose or intent. In Rugby football, to take a
case, where no mallet is used, it is permissible to seize an opponent
by the whiskers and sling him over your right shoulder, afterwards
stamping a few times on his head or his stomach. This thwarts him
badly. The same principle applies, though in a milder form, to the
game of cricket, where you attempt to beat the adversary's bat with
your ball, or, if you have the bat, to steer the ball between your
adversaries, or at least to make them jolly well wish that you would.

Even with the baser and less heroic ball games, like croquet and
billiards, where mor