itany," partly because my
friends' names had only got as far as George (Lloyd), and also
because, being a Nonconformist, I don't know it. (I must learn it now
the feuilleton is finishing.)

But the most annoying part of the business was to find that, after all
this elaborate preparation for sleep, I was to "take a brisk walk for
half-an-hour" (whatever the weather conditions). Even this did not
work, for by that time the milkmen and newsboys were heralding the
dawn and kept my brain too alert.

As a final effort, do you think you could produce a nightcap model
of the Sandringham, or is it quite impossible for one who reads your
paper to be anything but wideawake?

* * * * *

THE PERFECT PARTNER.

There are, my Mabel, men who vow
The perfect wife is theirs
Because she smoothes the ruffled brow
And drives away their cares;
While there are others hold the view
That she is best who'll pay
Some trivial attention to
Her promise to obey.

Well, let each babble in his turn
About that spouse of his;
Not knowing you, how could they learn
What true perfection is?
Of all your sex you stand most high
By far and very far
Who mid your Christmas gifts can buy
A smokeable cigar.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE ECONOMISTS.

SCENE.--_The Coalition Golf Club de luxe_.

MR. BONAR LAW. "DARE WE HAVE CADDIES?"

MR. LLOYD GEORGE. "NO, NO. WE ARE OBSERVED. THE PLACE IS ALIVE WITH
ELECTORS."

("Watch your M.P.!"--_Poster of Anti-Waste Press_.)]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

[Illustration: THURSDAY.

[After the Painting by W. DENDY SADLER.]

SIR D. MACLEAN, MR. HOGGE, MR. G. LAMBERT, MR. G. R. THORNE, MR.
ASQUITH, MR. ACLAND, GENERAL SEELY.]

_Monday, December 6th._--"Logic has never governed Ireland and never
will," said Lord MIDLETON to-day. It was certainly conspicuous by its
absence from a good many of the speeches made in Committee on the
Government of Ireland Bill. Representatives of Southern Ireland have
been clamouring for greater financial control, but they quite changed
their tone when Clause 24, enabling the Irish Parliaments to impose
a surtax upon residents in Ireland, came up for discussion.
While professing the greatest confidence in the desire of their
fellow-countrymen to treat them fairly, Lords DROGHEDA, SLIGO and
WICKLOW agreed in thinking that this