c self-denial is going on amongst
the juvenile population. A friend of mine, aged seven, hearing the talk
about all the coming privations, has decided to remove chocolates, buns
and sponge-cakes from his dietary, and several young ladies have agreed
to take milk instead of cream with their breakfast porridge.

This morning we were brought face to face with the grimmest reality of
war we have so far experienced. A boy-scout called at the house and
produced an official paper asking for the names and addresses of any
aliens who might be residing in the house. We have one such alien, a
German maid for the children, a most unwarlike and inoffensive alien.
Her name was entered on the form and the boy-scout disappeared to call
at other houses. Since then, at intervals of about half-an-hour, other
boy-scouts have called and produced similar forms. I have just dismissed
a party of three, telling them that they seemed to be overlapping. They
smiled and said, "Thank you," and retired. I look out of the window and
behold two more approaching. They are doing the thing thoroughly.

P.S.--Another notice is out warning us that it is known there are a lot
of spies in the Island, and that we must not loiter near a fort lest we
be shot. It is rumoured that soldiers are to be billeted on us
(enthusiastic cheers from the younger members of the family).

R. C. L.

* * * * *

"Turnip, beef, carrots, and onions, if of suitable variety, would in
a favourable autumn yield fair-sized bulbs."--_Manchester Evening
News._

_New Song._ "When father carved the bulb."

* * * * *

Illustration: BRAVO, BELGIUM!

* * * * *

VOLUMES.

All books should be in one volume. I always thought so, but now I know.
The reason why I know is because I possess two or three thousand books,
and I have recently moved into a new house, and the books were at first
put on the shelves indiscriminately as they came out of the packing
cases. And how better spend a wet bank holiday than in arranging them
properly--bringing parted couples together, adjusting involuntary
divorces, reuniting the separated members of families and tribes?

This is the merciful work on which Parolles and I have been engaged for
too long. (I call her Parolles because she is so fond of words of which
neither the meaning nor pronunciation has quite been mastered.) We meet
each other