th the constant practice that she will
be able to return my service; in which case it will settle the game, for
wherever we put the ball Wilbrooke is bound to get hold of it and drive
or smash it so that we can't return it.

(2) I may serve Pattie a double-fault. But I am now in splendid
training; my right biceps is like a cricket-ball, and I feel that I
could serve all day without tiring. Besides, the quality of my service
is improving, which counteracts, in a measure, the possible improvement
in Pattie's game.

(3) We may get a bright sunshiny evening, when the sun will be straight
in Wilbrooke's eyes; in which case, with my improved service, I may
possibly get a fast ball over which he will be unable to see.

Anyway, it is now certain that I belong to the Bulldog Breed.

* * * * *

Sir ERNEST SHACKLETON as reported in _The Evening News_:--

"The last articles which we took on board were two gramophones with
a large number of records and a case of hyacinth blubs."

The last-named are often mistaken for spring onions by those who come
too near with their lachrymal nerves.

* * * * *

Illustration: A SONG FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

"WHERE MY CARAVAN HAS RESTED."

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)

As in the enervating luxury of peace, so in the stern stringency of war
we have always a use, and a good use too, for the humourist. But he must
be a jester of the right sort; not bitter nor flippant, not over
boisterous nor too "intellectual." Humour for humour's sake is what we
want, and in these anxious hours something to make us laugh quietly and
unhysterically, if only by way of temporary relief. Mr. IAN HAY hits the
mark about eight times in every ten in _A Knight on Wheels_ (HODDER AND
STOUGHTON), which is not at all a bad proportion for three hundred and
nineteen pages. He has some delightful ideas, which, happily, he does
not overwork: a case in point is the brief but rapid career of _Uncle
Joseph_, who employs the most criminal methods in order to attain the
most charitable ends. The story is a simple one--youth, laughter and
love; and the motor car plays an important but not a tiresome part in
it. The author's attitude towards women is slightly cynical but very
lighthearted, and clearly he loves them all the time: indeed, I think
Mr. HAY, while alive to existing