t the room jauntily.

Janet's voice, suddenly repentant, followed me.

"No," she called, "that won't do either. Because if it's a true one you
won't sell it."

"But if it isn't," I called back, "and I do, we can put the money in the
Divorce Fund."

* * * * *

THE SORROWS OF A SUPER-PROFITEER.

[Bradford wool-spinners are stated to be unable to escape from the
deluge of wealth that pours upon them or avoid making profits of three
thousand two hundred per cent.]

And so you thought we simply steered
Great motor-cars to champagne dinners
And bought tiaras and were cheered
By hopes of breeding Epsom winners;
Eh, lad, you little knew the weird
Dreed by the Yorkshire spinners.

How hollow are those marble halls,
The place I built and deemed a show-thing,
Its terraces, its waterfalls--
Once more I hear that sound of loathing,
The bell rings and a stranger calls
To speak of underclothing.

They've bashed my offices to wrecks,
They've broke their way beyond the warders,
And now my country seat they vex,
They trample my herbaceous borders;
They chase me up and down with cheques,
They flummox me with orders.

They bolt me to the billiard-room,
Where chaps are playing five-bob snooker;
They see me dodging from the doom,
They heed no threats and no rebuker;
"We've got thee now," they say, "ba goom!"
And pelt me with their lucre.

Vainly I put the prices up
To stem that flowing tide of riches;
The horror haunts me as I sup;
The unknown guest arrives and pitches
His ultimatum in my cup:--
"The people must have breeches."

I shall not see the skylark soar
Nor hear the cuckoo nor the linnet,
When Springtime comes, above the roar
Of folk a-hollering each minute
For yarn at thirty-two times more
Than what I spent to spin it.

Eh me, I cannot help but pine
For days departed now and olden,
When I could drink of common wine,
To powdered flunkeys unbeholden;
Do peas taste better when we dine
Because the knife is golden?

Often I wish I might repair
To haunts that once I used to enter,
Like "The Old Fleece" up yonder there,
Of which I was a great frequenter,
Not yet a brass-bound millionaire,
But just a cent-per-center.

EVOE.

* * * * *

"Over 30,000 people paid L2,019 to see the cu