anager to a well-known troupe of performing insects.

Another recruit to Stage enterprise is Professor Seymour Legge, who has
been appointed Chief Investigator to the Beauty Chorus Providers'
Corporation. Mr. Legge was formerly Professor of Comparative Anatomy at
Ballycorp.

* * * * *

SATURDAYS.

Now has the soljer handed in his pack,
And "Peace on earth, goodwill to all" been sung;
I've got a pension and my ole job back--
Me, with my right leg gawn and half a lung;
But, Lord! I'd give my bit o' buckshee pay
And my gratuity in honest Brads
To go down to the field nex' Saturday
And have a game o' football with the lads.

It's Saturdays as does it. In the week
It's not too bad; there's cinemas and things;
But I gets up against it, so to speak,
When half-day-off comes round again and brings
The smell o' mud an' grass an' sweating men
Back to my mind--there's no denying it;
There ain't much comfort tellin' myself then,
"Thank Gawd, I went _toot sweet_ an' did my bit!"

Oh, yes, I knows I'm lucky, more or less;
There's some pore blokes back there who played the game
Until they heard the whistle go, I guess,
For Time an' Time eternal. All the same
It makes me proper down at heart and sick
To see the lads go laughing off to play;
I'd sell my bloomin' soul to have a kick--
But what's the good of talkin', anyway?

* * * * *

"If we were suddenly to be deprived of the fast underground train, and
presented with a sparse service of steam trains in sulphurous tunnels,
the result on our tempers and the rate of our travelling would be--
well, electric!"--_Pall Mall Gazette._

We have tried to think of a less appropriate word than "electric," but have
failed miserably.

* * * * *

THE RIDING LESSON.

Phillida arrived up to time with her suit-case, a riding-crop and a large
copy of D'AULNOY'S _Fairy Tales_. She was not very communicative as we
drove out, and I sought to draw her. You never, by the way, talk down to
Phillida. Personally, I don't believe in talking down to any child; but to
employ this method with Phillida is to court disaster.

"Pleasant journey?" I inquired casually, flicking Rex's ear.

"'M," responded Phillida in the manner of a child sucking sweets. Phillida
was not sucking sweets, and I accepted my snub. We drove