e Elizabethan Room.

Father came in and took one look and said: "Not for Mine! I won't
stand for any Puss Willow being grafted on to our Family Tree."

His name was Kenneth, and he reduced his Percentage on the first day by
having the hem-stitched Mouchoir tucked inside of the Cuff.

Also, it was rumored that he put oil on his Eye-Brows and rubbed
Perfumery on the backs of his Hands.

Father walked around the He-Canary twice, looking at him over the
Specs, and then he rushed to the Library and kicked the Upholstery out
of an $80 chair.

He could see the love-light glinting in the Eyes of Bernice. She had
fallen for the Flukus.

Kenneth was installed as Steady.

When Bernice saw him turn the Corner and approach the House, he looked
to her like Rupert, the long lost Heir--while Father discerned only an
insect too large to be treated with Powder.

Kenneth was the kind of Sop that you see wearing Evening Clothes on a
Colored Post-Card.

If his private Estate had been converted into Pig Iron, he could have
carried it in his Watch Pocket.

He was re-fined and had lovely Teeth, but those who knew him well
believed the Story that when he was a Babe in Arms, the Nurse had let
him fall and strike on the Head.

He wore his Hair straight back and used Patent Leather dressing.
He was full of Swank and put on much Side and wore lily-colored Spats
and was an awful Thing all around, from Pa's point of view.

In a crowd of Bank Directors he would have been a cheap Swivel, but
among the Women Folks he was a regular Bright Eyes.

When you passed through the Archway of his Intellectual Domain you
found yourself in the Next Block.

But--he could go into a Parlor and sprinkle Soothing Syrup all over the
Rugs.

He had a Vaudeville Education and a small Tenor Voice, with the result
that many a fluttering Birdie regarded him as the bona-fide Ketchup.
Bernice thought she was lucky to have snared him away from the others,
and she had slipped him the whispered Promise, come Weal, come Woe.
She had no Mother to guide her, and it looked as if the Family was
about to have a Bermuda wished on to it.

No wonder Father was stepping sideways.

He would come home in the evening and find the Mush perched on a Throne
in the Spot Light, shooting an azure-blue Line of desiccated Drool,
with Bernice sitting out in front and Encoring.

Then he would retire to the back part of the House to bark at the
Butler and act as if he had been e