mitive Conditions. The
Frontier had retreated away over into Kansas.

In the very Township where, of late, the Beaver had toiled without
Hindrance and the Red Fox dug his hole unscared, people were now eating
Cove Oysters, and going to see "East Lynne."

Hiram was in rugged Health, having defended the flag by Proxy during
the recent outcropping of Acrimony between the devotees of Cold Bread
and the slaves of Hot Biscuit. The Substitute had been perforated
beyond repair at the Battle of Kennesaw Mountain, proving that Hiram
made no mistake in remaining behind to tend Store.

When Jennie moved in where she could hear the Trains whistle and began
to sport a Cameo Brooch, she could barely remember wearing a Slip and
having Stone Bruises.

Hiram was Near, but he would Loosen up a trifle for his own Fireside.
The fact that Jennie was his wife gave her quite a Standing with him.
He admired her for having made such a Success of her Life.

They dwelt in a two-story Frame with countless Dewdads and Thingumbobs
tacked along the Eaves and Scalloped around the Bay Windows.

The Country People who came in to see the Eighth Wonder of the World
used to stand in silent Awe, breathing through their Noses.

Out on the lawn, surrounded by Geraniums, was a Cast-Iron Deer which
seemed to be looking at the Court House in a startled Manner. It was
that kind of a Court House.

In her Front Room, the daughter of Rufus and Susan had Wonderful Wax
Flowers, sprinkled with Diamond Dust; a What-Not bearing Mineral
Specimens, Conch-Shells, and a Star-Fish, also some Hair-Cloth
Furniture, very slippery and upholstered with Sand.

After Hiram gave her the Black Silk and paid for the Crayon
Enlargements of her Parents, Jennie did not have the Face to bone him
for anything more, but she longed in secret and Hiram suspected.
Jennie was a soprano. Not a regular Soprano, but a Country-Town
Soprano, of the kind often used for augmenting the Grief in a Funeral.
Her voice came from a point about two inches above the Right Eye.
She had assisted a Quartette to do things to "Juanita," and sometimes
tossed out little Hints about wishing she could practice at Home.
Jennie was a Nice Woman but she _did_ need Practice.

Although Hiram was tighter than the Bark on a Sycamore, he liked to
have other Women envy the Mother of His Children.

When he spread himself from a Shin-Plaster, he expected a Fanfare of
Trumpets.

It took him a long time to unwind