by an
Indoor Circus, a Carnival of Terpsichorean Eccentricities, and a
correct Reproduction of Monte Carlo at the height of the Season.

Therefore, when their Only Child suggested that he would fain hie to
the Husks at a Reasonable Hour, they told him that Slumber was made
for Slaves and to take his Feet out of his Lap and move around.

Having led a sheltered Life among the devotees of Jane Addams and
Jacob Riis, he was dazed and horrified to find himself suddenly
subjected to the demoralizing Influences of the Small Town.

They scoffed at him when he said that his regular twilight Repast was a
saucer of granose Flakes, a mere sliver of White Meat, and some diluted
Milk.

His home was near the White Light District, and they just knew that he
was accustomed to bathe in the Bubbles.

He sat back benumbed for many hours watching the wicked Rustics
perform.

He had read about such things in the reports of the Commission, but
this was the first time that he had ever really been Slumming.

When he weakened on the Bumper Proposition and disavowed any
familiarity with the Texas Tommy spasm or the fine points of Auction,
the sophisticated ones exchanged significant Glances.

They tumbled to the Fact that Elmer was not such a much, even if he did
reside at Headquarters. It was evident that he had not been travelling
with the Real Razmataz Rompers.

He was panned to a Whisper next day. The Verdict was in. Elmer was
branded a Dead One.

He is now in the crowded City, trying to arrange to have his rowdy
Parents come in and take the Cure.

MORAL: Those having the most Time to devote to a Line of Endeavor
usually become the most Proficient.

THE NEW FABLE OF WHAT TRANSPIRES AFTER THE WIND-UP

Once upon a time Ferdinand breathed right into Adele's translucent
Listener those three Words which hold all Records as monosyllabic
Trouble-Makers.

They have a harmless look on the Printed Page, but when pulled at the
Psychological turn of the Road, they become the Funeral Knell of
Bachelor Freedom and a Prelude to cutting the String on whatever has
been put by.

The Serpent, operating in the guise of a Lover in a Serge Suit, had
lured, cajoled, wheedled, and finessed until the poor trembling Child,
only twenty-four years of Age, was alone with him in what the
Landscaper had worked off on her Papa as a Formal Garden.

They stood clinched there in the dull Sunset Glow, with a Pergola for
a Background. It was all very