ken-down Sports
assembled in the Card-Room.

He said he had discovered the only Climate in the World. It had
Switzerland skinned and was not enervating, like Florida, for he had
been sleeping like a Baby and felt like a 2-year-old every A. M., in
spite of the fact that he could not get his regular Rations.

He wanted to organize a Company and build a Million Dollar Hotel at
Once.

With a New York Steward to supply the Table and a well-stocked Cellar,
the Resort ought to get all the classy Trade, for he hoped to die if
the Air out there hadn't done more for him in One Month than Europe had
done in the whole Year.

MORAL: Nature will sometimes help the Unfortunate who finds it
impossible to reach out and help Himself.

THE NEW FABLE OF THE FATHER WHO JUMPED IN

Once there was a leading Citizen with only one Daughter, but she was
Some Offspring.

Bernice was chief Expense Account and Crown Jewel of a Real Estate
Juggler who had done so well that all the Strap-Hangers regarded him as
an Enemy to Society.

Papa was foolish, even as a Weasel.

He was what you might call Honest, which signified that all of his Low
Work had been done by Agents.

A Person of rare judgment, withal. He never copped a piece of bulky
Swag unless he had a Wheelbarrow with him at the time.

He had been going East with the Green Goods ever since the Party in
Power precipitated the first Panic.

He had Stacks of the Needful, and his Rating was AA Plus 1, to say
nothing of a Reserve cached in the little Tin Box.

Daughter alone could include him to unbuckle, and melt, and jar loose,
and come across, and kick in, and sting the Check-Book.

One day Bernice was a Little Girl, and the next she was head Flossie
among the Debutantes, with a pack of Society Hounds pursuing in Full
Cry, each willing to help count the Bank Roll.

Father was scared pink when he sized up the Field.

He still wore box-toed Boots and carried Foliage on the Sub-Maxillary
so that those who came ringing the Front Bell didn't look very lucky
to him.

Sometimes he would dream that he had been pushed into a Mausoleum and
that a slender Cyril with a Lady's Watch strapped on his wrist was
spending all of that Money for Signed Etchings.

Whereupon he would awake in a Cold Sweat and try to think of a safe
Recipe for poisoning Boulevard Blighters.

One day Bernice went out into the Sunshine and found something and
brought it home with her and put it on a Rug in th