verything. There is food for our
laughter and our tears. It excites us and calms us."

1ST AMERICAN. "I should think it did calm us. That's why the old fellow
went to sleep and snored all through the last twelve acts. I think it's
the heaviest and stupidest play that was ever put on the stage. Of
course it's the greatest thing ever written, but then I prefer DALY'S
_Gaslight_, myself."

2ND GERMAN. "Ah, my friend, how this sublime creation stirs the inner
depths of our spiritual natures. Ach, Himmel! it is the poem of
Humanity. Let us go out for beer."

2D AMERICAN. "When are we going to see SEEBACH?"

USHER. "She don't appear until the twenty-third act, sir. That will be
on about three hours from now."

2D AMERICAN. "Come, TOM, let's go and have supper. I am getting
exhausted."

USHER. "Step this way, sir. Mr. GRAU has some refreshments at your
service."

And they go in search of the cold ham and beer which the beneficent GRAU
has kindly provided. Refreshed by much beer, and enlivened by the cheery
influence of the genial sandwich, they return for a few more hours of
soliloquy and dialogue.

Time passes slowly, but surely. At last we reach an act in which SEEBACH
walks quietly across the stage. The curtain instantly drops amid the
sobs of the excited audience.

1ST GERMAN. "Lend me your handkerchief, my friend, that I may wipe away
my tears. I have a sausage wrapped up in mine, but what are sausages
compared with art! How divinely SEEBACH walks. To me, she seems like an
incarnation of Pure Reason, an Avatar of the spirit of transcendental
philosophy. Come, we will pledge her in beer."

1ST AMERICAN. "What are they making all that row about--just because
SEEBACH walked across the stage? Why, she never said a word."

2D AMERICAN. "Let's go round to the hotel and take a quiet sleep till
she comes on again. I've got my night-clothes with me. Always bring 'em
when I go to see German tragedy."

Then ensue other hours of dialogue, interspersed with soliloquies of
half an hour each. Interspersed also with perpetual dropping of the
curtain, whereby the play is made to last some eight or ten hours longer
than would otherwise be the case. Most of the German music that has been
written during the last three centuries is played by the orchestra
during these intermissions. But in course of time SEEBACH gives us the
Garden scene, winning our frantic admiration by her inimitable
tenderness and grace, and finally we rea