rely a
"man of straw"?

* * * * *

[Illustration: APPROPRIATE.

_Pompey, (sawing.)_ "HOW YOU GWINE TO VOTE, SAM?--I'SE BIN _saw_ BY DE
'PUBLICAN PARTY."

_Sambo._ "BOFE PARTIES SEE'D ME, AND SO I'M GWINE TO SPLIT."]

* * * * *

A Sporting Con.

Why is the famous horse DEXTER like a musical conductor?

Because he beats Time.

* * * * *

Theatrical Item.

Since Colonel FISK, Jr., floored that other manager, he is known in the
profession as the great floor manager.

* * * * *

Good News for the Birds.

In Westchester county a fine of $25 is hereafter to be levied upon each
jackass in human form who shoots birds on Sunday. It is to be hoped that
the little bills may thus be saved from holiday havoc by persons who
object to incurring large ones.

* * * * *

[Illustration: CONSTERNATION OF THE EDITORIAL STAFF OF THE NEW YORK
_SUN_, (INCLUDING THE OFFICE BOY,) ON SEEING CHIEF EDITOR PECKSNIFF DANA
DECLINING TO ACCEPT A HEAVY BRIBE OFFERED HIM TO PUBLISH A MENDACIOUS
PARAGRAPH ABOUT A RESPECTABLE CONTEMPORARY.]

* * * * *

A NEW SENSATION WANTED.

The reprehensible haste with which various European nations terminate
their wars is a source of annoyance to every one. Hardly have we
acquired a decided taste for news of some transient war or other, when
the conflicting parties judge that they have had enough of it, and thus
an avenue of enjoyment is summarily closed.

It is as though one's natural aversion to tomatoes had gradually changed
to liking, and then an untimely autumn frost had come, to anticipate the
gardener and the air-tight can.

These foreigners are so different from the Americans!

During the Rebellion--a comparatively staid and respectable affair--a
correspondent, after the first two years, became so expert as to
anticipate battles, and knew as much about war as a general. War news
and buckwheat cakes enlivened the matutinal meal. The chances pro and
con gave a zest to conversations else intolerably dull. The war was an
Institution.

But see how it is in Europe.

In '66, they spirted away for six weeks and stopped. And now, after a
similar splurge, they have as good as stopped once more. The
correspondents just sent over by our "enterprising" newspapers, are
hardly yet recovered from their sea-sic