quested to announce it
through the columns of the _Woman's Journal_, and let the world know the
fools wasent all dead yet.

Should the candidates be opposed to our cause, it was recommended that
when the Woman's Convention Committee meet, on the 18th of October, that
ten talented talkers be appointed to surround the candidates and talk
them to death as a warnin to futer candidates.

Congratulatory speeches, endorsin' these last resolutions, was made by
the wimmen, and I gess they would have kept talkin' ontil doomsday, if
the chokin-off committee hadn't been sent around with copies of
_Harper's Bazaar_, full of pictures of the new fall fashions. (Between
you and I, Mister PUNCHINELLO, the only thing which our wives goes
heavier on than their rites, so called, is fashions.) The convention
then thanked Hon. Hank Wilson for blowin' their trumpet, and voted to
present him with a new hoop skirt and a pound of spruce gum as a token
of their appreciation.

Charles Sumner was then trotted, out, viz.:

_Whereas:_ Charles Sumner has, somehow or other, got one foot kerslop on
our platform;

_Whereas:_ He must go the hul hog or none;

_Be it resolved:_ We can't take any stock in Charly, ontil he wears his
hair parted in the middle and done up in a waterfall, pledgin' himself
to go his entire length, next winter, for the 16th Commendment.
(Enthusiastic applause. Cries of "them's um!" "Kor-rect!" "Selah!'"
etc.; "Bully boy with the glass eye!" etc., etc.)

Mrs. How then got up and said thusly: "My friends: I'me down onto
colleges like a 1000 of brick. They are the mad puddles of artificial
ignorance. If a red-headed woman was alowed to shed her lite, the
proffessors would be throwed into the shades rite lively. The result
would be, the blind would lead the near-sited by the nose. Them's my
sentiments."

Stephen L. Fostir got up and said:

"He woulden't go to the poles on eleckshun without his wife as his ekal
a hangin' on his arm."

Mrs. LIVERMORE sprung quickly to her feet and said: "She'd bet $4.00 if
she was Steve's wife, he'd go to the poles under diffikilties, then, for
she wasen't the woman who thought the man lived that was the ekal of any
woman; and that hain't all," said she. "When we get hold of the ballit,
man has got to get up early in the mornin' to fool _us_ much. All the
koketting with the Democrats, Republicans, Prohibitionists, and Labor
Reformers in the offis of the _Woman's Journal_, last summer, don't