LLO. The Editor of PUNCHINELLO has an income of about
$500,000. He usually dines at the Hoffman House when out of State's
Prison. He owns some fine lots somewhere underneath the East River,
besides a brown stone front in Alaska."

"PUBLISHER OF PUNCHINELLO. This gentleman's income does not exceed
$350,000 per annum. He expends it principally in beautifying his
delightful summer residence in Mackerelville. It has been his misfortune
to pass many years of his life in a lunatic asylum, the unhappy result
of organizing plans for American Comic Papers. All is joy and peace with
him now, however; he looks hopefully forward to the time when
PUNCHINELLO shall have attained to his legitimate rank of the Foremost
Journal in the Nation. Meanwhile he lunches daily at a leading
restaurant on thirteen oysters, (a dozen and one over) with vinegar,
pepper and a bottle of Bass."

* * * * *

"ONE MORE UNFORTUNATE."

MR. PUNCHINELLO: I fancy myself a victim of imposition, and I wish to
place my case before you. Having, for a period of six months, "honorably
and persistently," (to use the language of my friends,) held the office
of third Deputy-Assistant Register of Caramels, in and for the city and
county of New York, my associates in office and my friends in general
have determined to present me with a testimonial of their distinguished
regards. Accordingly, they have ordered a massive and handsomely
engraved pair of silver tongs, and a splendid silver fire-shovel. This
is all very well, so far, but the committee informed me yesterday that
the shovel and tongs would cost four hundred and twenty-five dollars,
and that, as only eight dollars and a half had been collected, it was
considered highly important that I should immediately hand over the
balance of the price, in order that the presentation and banquet, (to
take place at my house on next Saturday evening,) might not be
postponed, to the great disappointment of my associates in office and my
friends in general.

Now, Mr. PUNCHINELLO, is not this a little hard on me? I know very well
that it is customary for the recipients of testimonials to pay
three-quarters of the cost of the present, and I am perfectly willing to
abide by this custom; but forty-nine fiftieths is, I think, rather too
heavy, especially as my house is heated by a furnace in the cellar and I
have no use for a shovel and tongs--particularly silver ones.

Yours perturbedly, A. DOANE