Croesus though I be--
The one who loveth truly
I swear is I--(or "me"?)

But what availeth grammar
As taught in straitest schools--
The hammer of the Crammer
Forging Bellona's tools--
Or words that humbly stammer
Regardless of the rules?
And what availeth fretting,
Deep sighs, and dwindling waist,
And what the sad forgetting
Of culinary taste,
Since still thou fondly spurnest
Five hundred thou. (or "thee."?)
And on young STONEY turnest
Love's eye--(or _is_ it "me"?)

* * * * *

SAD CONCLUSION.--To be virtuous for virtue's sake, without prospect of
reward, this is to be good for nothing!

* * * * *

[Illustration: BYE-ELECTION-OLOGY.

_Gladys._ "LISTEN, SIBYL. PAPA HAS WON A GREAT MORAL VICTORY----WHAT DOES A
MORAL VICTORY MEAN EXACTLY?"

_Sibyl_ (_who has had more experience_). "OH, IT MEANS--WELL, THAT WE ARE
TO BE THE VICTIMS OF POLITICAL ECONOMY, AND NOT GO TO LONDON, AFTER ALL!"]

* * * * *

INDERWICKEDNESS.

"I do not wish to make a joke," Mr. INDERWICK, Q.C., is reported to have
observed in the course of examining the plaintiff in a divorce case, but,
in spite of this pathetic announcement, which passed without any comment
from the Judge, the ruling passion was too strong for him, and he
continued, "but Artists' models are not always models of virtue, are they?"
Not new, not by any means new, of course, but he had apologised beforehand,
and he couldn't help it; as the weak heroine, who yields to strong
temptation in a French novel or play, usually acknowledges "_C'etait plus
fort que moi_." The inflammable materials being in close contact, there was
nothing to 'inder-wick from catching fire when in proximity to a spark of
genius. Yet so powerfully had the eminent Queen's Counsel's prefatial
apology affected the court and the audience, that his saucy sally--(for
there is life in the old sally yet, whether in our alley or in this
Court)--was not followed by the usually reported "laughter." How was it
received? Doubtless with decorous silence and downcast eyes, expressive of
sweet memories of dear old jokes made long ago, in happier and brighter
times, "when all the world was young."

When a good old joke is again brought into Court with or without apology,
instead of its being received with respectful silence, we should like to
read