you know. A--in fact, I'm writing a book on Ancient
Egypt.

_The Others._ A _literary_ man! As if _that_ made it any better!

_Lord Strath._ I merely mention it because it led me to write to Mr.
CARTOUCHE--whom I happened to hear of as a famous collector--and ask to be
allowed to call and inspect his collection. Mr. CARTOUCHE (who lives, I
believe, at No. 92, next door) very kindly wrote, giving me leave, and
inviting me to dine at the same time, and--I know it was unpardonably
careless of me--but somehow I came here instead, and, Mr. and Mrs. TIDMARSH
being both too--er--hospitable to undeceive me, I never found my mistake
out till too late to put it right, without inconveniencing everybody.
That's really all.

[_Uneasy reaction in the company._

_Uncle Gab._ (_pompously_). Ha--hum--no doubt that puts a somewhat
different complexion on the case, but it doesn't explain your conduct in
calling yourself Lord STRATHFOOZLEUM, or whatever it was.

_Lord Strath._ I think you mean STRATHSPORRAN. I did call myself that,
because it happens to be my name.

_Mrs. Tid._ (_passionately_). I don't believe it.... I _can't_. If it is,
why did Miss SEATON call you "Mr. CLAYPOLE"?

_Lord Strath._ I beg your pardon--CLAYMORE. Because, when we last met, I
was DOUGLAS CLAYMORE, with no prospect whatever, as it seemed then, of
being anything else.

_Mrs. Tid._ (_faintly_). Then he really is--_Oh_!

[_She sinks on the couch, crushed._

_Uncle Gab._ Ha, well, my Lord, I'm glad this little misunderstanding is so
satisfactorily cleared up, and if I may venture to hope for the honour of
your company,--shall we say Friday wee----(Lord S. _looks at him
steadily._) Oh, if your Lordship has some better engagement, well and good.
Makes no difference to _me_ I assure you. JOANNA, our carriage must be here
by now, say good-bye and have done with it! Good-night, MARIA, I'll see you
don't expose me to _this_ again!

SCENE XII.--_The guests have all taken leave with extremely frosty
farewells_; Mr. TIDMARSH _is downstairs superintending their
departure._ GWENNIE _has been pardoned on_ Lord S.'s _intercession,
and dismissed, in much bewilderment, to bed._ Mrs. TIDMARSH _and_ Lord
STRATHSPORRAN _are alone._

_Mrs. Tid._ (_hysterically_). Oh, Lord STRATHSPORRAN, when I think how
I----What can I _ever_ say to you?

_Lord Strath._ Only, I hope, that you forgive my stupidity in blundering in
here as I did, Mr