ighten you--I'm extremely curious to know myself.

_Mrs. Tid._ (_distractedly_). Oh, Aunt, it wasn't my fault, really!
MONTAGUE _would_ have him! And--and we _sent_ round to say he wouldn't be
required--we did indeed! Please, _please_ don't tell anybody!

_Mrs. Gil._ (_rigidly_). It is my _duty_ to let everyone here know how
disgracefully we have been insulted to-night, MARIA, and might have gone
away in ignorance, but for that innocent child--who has done nothing, that
_I_ can see, to deserve being shaken like that! _I_'m not going to sit by
in silence and see a man passed off as a Lord who is nothing more nor less
than one of the assistants out of BLANKLEY'S shop, hired to come and fill a
vacant seat! Yes, GABRIEL, if you doubt my word, look at MARIA--and _now_
ask that young man to dine!

[_Profound sensation among the company._

_Uncle Gab._ I--ah--withdraw the invitation, of course--it is cancelled,
Sir, cancelled!

_Feminine Murmur._ I had a feeling, the moment he came in, as if--so
thankful now I didn't commit myself by so much as--ah, my dear, it all
comes from a desire to make a show!--&c., &c.

_Uncle Gab._ It's the bare-faced impudence of coming here on false
pretences, that _I_ can't get over. Come, Mr. SHOPWALKER, COUNTERJUMPER, or
whatever you really are, what have _you_ got to say for yourself?

_Lord Strath._ Say? Why----

[_He struggles to control his countenance for a moment, until he is
convulsed at last by irrepressible laughter._

_All_ (_except the_ TIDMARSHES). He's laughing--positively _laughing_ at
Us! The brazenness of it!

_Lord Strath._ (_regaining composure_). I--I'm awfully sorry, but it struck
me suddenly as so----After all, the joke is only against myself. (_To
himself._) Must try and get my unfortunate hostess out of this fix--not
that she deserves it! (_Aloud._) If you will kindly let me explain, I think
I can----

_Mr. Tid._ (_suddenly_). Oh, hang explaining! It's all out now, and you'd
better leave it there!

_Lord Strath._ I can't, indeed. I must make you all understand that this
well-meaning lady with the highly-developed sense of duty has done our host
and hostess a grave injustice, besides paying me a compliment I don't
deserve. I'm sorry to say I can't claim to be half as useful a member of
the community as any of the very obliging and attentive gentlemen in Mr.
BLANKLEY'S employment. If I'm anything, I'm a--an Egyptologist, in an
amateur sort of way,