Gandhi: A Memoir.
Gandhi's dream of helping the masses reminded me of Atmananda's seeming
interest in making millions of people happy. While Gandhi wielded
influence over two-thirds of a billion people as he helped India secure
independence, never did he grow twisted by the enormity of his own
power, never did he betray the public trust. Though Atmananda
eloquently described the balance between the spiritual and the mundane,
I knew from years of firsthand experience--yet found it difficult to
admit--that a Mahatma Gandhi he was not.

"I like the book very much," I replied.

"Would you like to meet Shirer?" she offered.

William L. Shirer was the only correspondent sent by an American
newspaper to cover India's revolution. He gathered that Gandhi's
philosophy encompassed more than civil disobedience, passive
resistance, non-cooperation and non-violence, but "had to do also with
something more subtle--and fundamental: the search for truth, for the
essence of the spirit... " Insights such as this made him seem
particularly suited to investigate so complex and sensitive a matter as
India's social, political, and spiritual ferment. Shirer was also the
author of The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich: A History of Nazi
Germany. As I knocked on his door, I hoped that with his knowledge of
benevolent and malevolent charismatic leaders, he could help me to
understand Atmananda.

I wanted to tell Shirer that I had seen Atmananda's seemingly
tight-knit community transform into a group of fearful, paranoid
people. I wanted to tell him that I had seen Atmananda himself
transform from a seemingly kind and noble seeker into a man who used
anti-psychotic drugs and LSD as tools of persuasion, who--without the
use of drugs--persuaded one woman to leave her husband and newborn
child, who dreamt of filling stadiums and of starting a world religion,
who claimed to be the anti-Christ, and who spoke repeatedly of taking
the inner circle for a ride in a Learjet into a mountain. I wanted to
tell Shirer how, in 1984, I had helped Atmananda through a bad LSD trip
and how, as he was "coming down," I had observed his opposing
personalities reassert themselves. I wanted to tell him that Atmananda
seemed to be getting progressively worse. And I wanted to tell him how
Atmananda had persuaded one disciple that he and I would be forever
locked in a battle over mystical power. The disciple was my brother.

When Shirer answered the door hi