bad set
up." I figured Rama was only joking. I laughed, but laughed alone.

Rama's lessons about movies often turned my topsy-turvy world further
upside down. He told me, for instance, that Star Wars creator George
Lucas was wrong to have Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) prematurely leave
a mystical apprenticeship, wrong to have evil unmasked by good, and
wrong to portray Yoda as being gay.

"Yoda is gay?" I asked.

"Yes," Rama replied, "but don't worry--you are not gay. No way. Of
course you're not gay. Don't believe anyone who tells you that you
are. Why even allow yourself to think that you are gay?" Then, after
laughing heartily, he hissed an imitation of the Emperor, Darth Vader's
evil master.

Rama, who assumed broad powers to interpret reality and myth, seemed to
believe that he was made of the stuff of legends. He got touchy,
however, when disciples looked to legends outside the realm of his
control. One time, for instance, I excitedly told him that I had seen
an autographed photo of Mark Hamill.

"Here you are sitting next to a fully enlightened teacher," he said
bitterly, "and all you can do is live in a world of fantasy."

Rama was right, I decided, as I pushed the broom down the long driveway
in Malibu. I was living in a world of fantasy. There, shaded by
billowing, yellow smoke and accompanied by a talkative real estate
agent, was Harrison Ford, quietly stepping toward Goldie Hawn's house,
toward the "Last Incarnation of Vishnu." Ford wore dungarees.

Rama introduced himself as the renter and as a teacher of advanced
meditation.

Anne introduced herself as a friend of Rama's.

"Sure is a blade runner kind of day," I blurted.

Ford said hello and went inside with the agent. We followed.

When the entourage reached the master bedroom, Rama gazed at the ocean
and declared, "The Force is strong here."

But Ford did not seem interested in Rama's assessment of the local
mystical energy field. Nor did Ford seem interested in Rama's
recollections about his fire fighting days. (Rama failed to mention
that he had fought the fires while in a prison camp, where he had been
serving time for selling drugs.) Ford was interested in the
construction of the house, and now he had seen enough. He started to
leave.

Rama handed him a Self Discovery, the free, promotional publication
that had taken the place of WOOF!. Rama gave him an issue that had been
distributed throughout southern California.